Here is my dirty secret – S. and I don’t sleep in the same bed anymore. And it’s not because we don’t love each other, it’s because we DO love each other. And sleep. We really love sleep. So when it comes time to go to sleep we go our separate ways to snore, toss and turn and get up 10 times to pee in peace. Turns out we aren’t the only ones channel Lucy and Ricky Ricardo when the sun goes down. Research is showing it is more common than you think. So don’t worry. Our marriage is perfectly fine!
But even though I fall asleep alone (or with a beagle) I am not waking up alone.
Most nights between 1am and 3am Mikey finds his way into bed with me. When I am awake enough to ask him why he says something like ‘I miss you’ or ‘I want to ‘nuggle’. While most parenting books and blogs will advise me to walk him back to his bed, I simply lift up the covers and scoot over. Sometimes he curls into a ball and digs his toenails into my back. Sometimes he asks me to turn on the TV (which I don’t). But I never regret letting him in my bed for a few hours before we start our day.
Sometimes I wake up before he does and I watch him twitch and sleep with his face smooshed in the pillow. Sometimes he wakes up before me and wakes me up so he can watch Peppa Pig or Dora the Explorer. Sometimes I wake up and he is eager to chat about random things like who is picking him up from school or what toy he wants to take to show his teacher. Sometimes he wakes up and is mad at the world for no reason. But no matter what, when he ‘sneaks’ into bed with me he knows I will be there in morning.
One day I will wake up and he won’t be in my bed and that’s okay too. But until then, I will always scoot over and make room for him and be there to ‘nuggle for a few hours.