People always ask the same questions when they see I’m pregnant:
Q: When are you due?
A: June 8th(ish)!
Q: Do you know the sex?
A: Yes! It’s a little boy, Michael Alan after his grandfathers
Q: Do you have a birth plan?
A: Um … yes. To leave the hospital with a baby?
Apparently birth plans are the new ‘big thing’ for pregnant women to obsess over. What kind of things do birth plans include? Dim lights, food if desired, walk as desired, labor props (Puppets? I like puppets), the ability to push instinctively, discharged as soon as possible … the list goes on. Baby Center makes it super easy, you can print out a 4 page PDF with options to simply hand to your doctor when it’s time to get the bun out of the oven.
What’s my birth plan? Get the kid out by any means necessary and as quickly and safely as possible. I’ve talked to enough friends and seen enough of TLC’s Baby Story to know things don’t always go as planned and it leaves Mommies feeling guilty and disappointed in their birth experience. Look, I’m sorry it didn’t go as planned, but you left the hospital with a baby right? So it really DID go as planned. You went to the hospital pregnant and left with a baby (preferably YOUR baby).
Sometimes I think I am too laid back to be a parent, but sometimes it works in my favor. I have no expectations, except to leave the hospital with a baby. And have an epidural. Birth plan: done.