Total weight gain/measurements: Yikes, I have no clue! I was working on losing weight before I got pregnant, so I am sure it is pretty significant.
Sleep: I do it. And I love it.
Best moment this week: Graduating Shady Grove! After 2 years I am ready for the real deal.
Miss anything? Underwear that fits. I decided I am going to be comfortable this go around and not put off maternity wear (especially since my pants are a little snug) so I am wearing stretch 75% of the time. But I still need some maternity underwear that will STAY UP.
Food cravings: It varies, but definitely meat, cheese, and salt. I could crush some sausage right now.
Anything making you queasy or sick? Nothing really specific, I am able to eat more now – which is good.
Symptoms: Fatigue, mood swings (this morning I cried in the car listening to a Selena Gomez song and thinking about Justin Bieber did her dirty), queasiness.
2 years 5 timed intercourse cycles 1 IUI 1 chemical pregnancy 58 shots
On October 23rd I had an IUI and today was my third blood test and you are rocking and rolling with a strong HCG level of 490.
Your brother already loves you so much. When I asked him how he would help with his new sibling, he said he would name you Molly. But you have a cousin named Mollie, so Mike said he would name you Sally. While we love how involved he is already, you will not be named Sally. But until we decide if you are he or she, I’m going to call you Sally.
Sweet Sally, so many people are praying for you and loving you already. In a few weeks, we will see that pretty heartbeat flicker – I am confident. Until then we will think about you, dream about you, talk about you, and pray for your stickiness.
You are suddenly six! How on earth did that happen my sweet girl? Also, and likely related, you shot up about 6 inches overnight. You seem to have gotten your daddy’s long legs. You know what long legs are good for? Running and playing which you excelled at this year – dance, t-ball, soccer – you tried them all!
We had our First Annual Lovely Ladies Who Lunch day and it was by far one of my favorite memories of you at five. We went to Build a Bear where you chose a unicorn (duh) and promptly named her ‘Snow’. We then walked over to the Cheesecake Factory where I required you to eat exactly 3 bites of lunch before ordering a sundae. That’s what lovely ladies do! I enjoyed your company so much and spending one on one time with you. We chatted about all sorts of fun things. I can’t wait for the Second Annual Lovely Ladies Who Lunch.
You have quite a fashion sense Mollie and I admire you faux fur vests, ‘twirly’ dresses and gladiator sandals. You were a bit disappointed when I didn’t buy a ‘concert outfit’ after seeing me try it on and I will admit, I do regret not taking your advice.
You are oh so silly and you love to play along. Mike adores you and considers you his best friend. The stories from your sleepovers are Grandma and Grandpa’s house remind me of spending time with my cousin growing up! I hope that never changes.
Miss Mollie, you are so smart and so friendly and such a great kid. I love you bunches and can’t wait to see what 6 brings. I am guessing more of the same, which is a good thing!
I’ve been thinking a lot about what is going on right now politically and I’m having a hard time seeing down the road when our President is not in the White House anymore. He has seemed to bring out the ugliness in people and social media is a hotbed for … let’s just say people hiding behind screens and not being nice.
How do you teach your kids to be nice when the nation’s leader can’t even be nice? That is a question for another day – today I find it exhausting. But what I AM seeing a lot of on social media is the fear that ‘our boys’ will be ‘falsely accused’ of sexual harassment, rape, etc. Mike is only five, but while we joke that he ‘loves to hard’ with his hugs, kisses and butt bumping – as parents we HAVE to make sure that he understands no means no NOW. He needs to hear that word frequently, feel it’s consequences and learn self control.
I am worried he will grow up and drive too fast, or not reach his potential, or have his heart broken (in more ways than one), or feel left out. I do not worry about him being falsely accused. S. and I are raising Mike to know that kindness counts and when he sees someone who needs help to help them. I hope we raise him to not put himself in situations where a false accusation could happen and not to be with people who encourage the wrong sort of behavior. It’s hard. It’s really hard.
How are you raising your little ones these days? Are you doing anything different?
If I am being honest I think about blogging and Muddling Momma every day. Mostly on my way to work, or on the way home from work and in the shower. But I haven’t posted in ages. I think the main reason is I am not sure what I want this blog to be. I originally started here as a way to share my infertility journey. That morphed (thankfully) into life as a pregnant person. Then into life of a new mom. And most recently, life as a mom in general. I am obviously still a mom, but I am not sure I want to share every detail of my son’s life. I carefully curated a lot of stuff on this blog with him in mind. Who knows what kids will be doing in 10 years when he is 14, perhaps blogging will be a thing of a past, but I don’t want his high school baseball/math club/DnD club/band members stumbling on this and finding out he pooped in the bathtub (he didn’t, FYI). I share enough of the funny stuff on Facebook.
But I am not ready to give up the idea of blogging. I am hoping to have another baby soon. I started working again full time in an executive level position, I am preparing to travel for the first time since Mike was born. I am stumbling on cool products for him, me, and families in general. We are exploring Maryland and I want to share that.
But let’s face it. I’m tired. Parents get that. So I might not post daily, weekly – hopefully monthly. But I am excited to produce new content that is useful. Stay tuned, and thanks for hanging in with me through this season of life.
Here is my dirty secret – S. and I don’t sleep in the same bed anymore. And it’s not because we don’t love each other, it’s because we DO love each other. And sleep. We really love sleep. So when it comes time to go to sleep we go our separate ways to snore, toss and turn and get up 10 times to pee in peace. Turns out we aren’t the only ones channel Lucy and Ricky Ricardo when the sun goes down. Research is showing it is more common than you think. So don’t worry. Our marriage is perfectly fine!
But even though I fall asleep alone (or with a beagle) I am not waking up alone.
Most nights between 1am and 3am Mikey finds his way into bed with me. When I am awake enough to ask him why he says something like ‘I miss you’ or ‘I want to ‘nuggle’. While most parenting books and blogs will advise me to walk him back to his bed, I simply lift up the covers and scoot over. Sometimes he curls into a ball and digs his toenails into my back. Sometimes he asks me to turn on the TV (which I don’t). But I never regret letting him in my bed for a few hours before we start our day.
Sometimes I wake up before he does and I watch him twitch and sleep with his face smooshed in the pillow. Sometimes he wakes up before me and wakes me up so he can watch Peppa Pig or Dora the Explorer. Sometimes I wake up and he is eager to chat about random things like who is picking him up from school or what toy he wants to take to show his teacher. Sometimes he wakes up and is mad at the world for no reason. But no matter what, when he ‘sneaks’ into bed with me he knows I will be there in morning.
One day I will wake up and he won’t be in my bed and that’s okay too. But until then, I will always scoot over and make room for him and be there to ‘nuggle for a few hours.
If you ask me how my morning went I would say, ‘I was not my best self. Not even close’. And I am going to give you a little spoiler here – this post isn’t going to tell you about how I turned it around because I didn’t. There was no touchy-feely apology with Mike where we hugged it out. Nope. I have never been so thankful to drop him off at school.
Mike woke up at 4:30a and, from what I could gather from his fussing and whining, everything I did was wrong. Here are the things I did wrong:
Cut his bagel
Bring him strawberries and Cheerios
Not magically making Peppa Pig appear On Demand
Asked him to put his underwear on
Not knowing where his Ironman Potatohead went
Putting on the wrong Paw Patrol episode
He was just hell on wheels and I had no patience. I am so tired (in general) of telling him to be gentle and to STOP.PUTTING.STUFF.IN.MY.FACE. Helicopters, toys, fingers, feet – everything is within inches of poking my eye out. I yelled. I pointed. I handled everything wrong. And that has to be okay.
I need a timeout. I own it. I’ll try again when he comes home from school.
And as I am editing this post I realized that I confused two texts between my cleaning lady and my oven repairman. To make a long story short, I had a cleaning crew show up when I am not even close to being picked up and my oven is still broken. It’s only 10am, so this day still has time to turn around. Right? Right.
I went back and forth with what this post could be called. I debated between ‘The Time I Called My Son a Liar‘ or ‘My Entry for Mother of the Year‘.
For about three weeks I’ve been picking Mike up from Preschool and his ‘take home’ folder has had a drawing of an obvious person. The first day I found it, I asked his teacher if it accidently was placed in his folder. I’ve only seen Mike scribble and these pictures were much more advanced. His teacher asked him if he drew it and he said yes. She then asked around to the other kids and no one claimed it. She agreed – no way he drew that. So I brought it home and tossed it in the recycle pile.
The next few days I continued to find pictures of people in Mike’s take home folder. His teacher and I ultimately decided that someone was sticking them in there by accident. All I could imagine was some poor parent whose kid was coming home without these drawings.
Then yesterday I grabbed yet ANOTHER picture of a person with a note from Mike’s teacher – “Yes! Mike did draw this. I watched!!”
Apparently my child can do something other than scribble and for the past month I rolled my eyes when I asked if these were his drawings and he replied yes. I wonder what other skills he has that he is telling me about and that I am ignoring.