Category: Pregnancy

Hormonal Water Slide

In just 3 shorts days (ish) I am going to be a Mom.

Let me say that again.

In 3 days … I am going to be a Mom.

In the meantime, I am riding the hormonal water slide (I hate roller coasters, for real).  Should I be feeling depressed? I am realizing that in 3 short days everything … everything is going to change. And, yes, I knew this before I even met S. Babies change things. But now it is going to happen really, really soon. I know I’m ready for it, but am I really ready? Too late to worry about that now.

But, I am enjoying the last few days of not being a mom … talking to the belly, feeling the rock concert going on inside (this kid is going to be a mosh pit junkie), going out to eat and seeing $5 movies.  I am ready for him to be here for sure. But what happens after that scares the sh*t out of me. Is that okay to say out loud?

Impatiently Waiting. Again.

It’s amazing how quickly time speeds up, then slows down, then speeds up again.

At our last OB appointment we scheduled a (dun, dun, dun) c-section (more on that later). Mike is getting big and with my diagnosis of PCOS, chances are he will get even bigger and we would end up doing an emergency c-section anyway.  We were in agreement, let’s just cut to the chase.

Since then, everything has sped up. And slowed down. I feel like with the June 5th birthday looming there seems to be so much to do! Everyone is packed for the hospital but me, I need to rest, dust, do everything I will NEVER DO AGAIN WHEN THE BABY COMES … But at the same time, I can’t wait to see his little face (or big face, apparently) and introduce him into a huge family who already loves him so much.

When Mikey asks about his birth, I look forward to telling him what his mommy and daddy did leading up to his birthday. We’ve been eating lots of  ice cream,  painted pottery and talked about what his arrival would mean, gone to brunch at one of our favorite spots and saw Hangover 3. Plus just spending time pondering what his existence will do to our life, different parenting techniques and what that day and recovery will be like. Plus we have been lazy. A lot.

It’s been a pretty fun few weekends, but things are moving so slow.

This is Moving On

I was a little grumpy yesterday wasn’t I? When I started this blog, I was writing for me – I wanted to remember how I felt at certain points and remind me myself of the good and the bad. I guess 5 hours of sleep over 2 nights will make you grumpy and maybe hurt some feelings. I know, I know. YOU JUST WAIT.  The good news is no one told me they were offended, so don’t get me wrong, this is not an apology blog post, this is moving on.

Here’s a funny conversation I had with my Mom last night:

J: I finally took a Unisom to try to get some sleep. I’m dying here.

Mom: Oh good!

J: Wait. What if it knocks me out and I don’t wake up when I have to pee and I pee the bed, then think my water broke?!

Mom: That sounds like a sitcom.

FYI – I didn’t pee the bed.

I Am Just Waiting

36 weeks and a few days … I’m starting to really feel like I am super, SUPER pregnant. I’m not sleeping, everything aches, I can’t do what I need to do – like pick up utensils that I dropped or drain the bathtub while I am still in it.  In my sleepless nights, I am able to imagine Mikey a bit more, and how our life will be when he’s here. Or so I think. I also spend time thinking about what I WON’T do or say to pregnant women now that I’ve been pregnant.  The number 1 on my  ‘Don’t Do’ list is say, ‘Oh, you just wait’.

I’ve heard this so many times during my pregnancy I could scream, and honestly, it’s become a joke with my friends and family. I’ve been getting this a lot from new moms, old moms, not moms and the like.  It usually goes something like this:

J: My hips hurt so bad, I am having the worst time sleeping.
Mom: You just wait! When that kid gets here you will NEVER SLEEP!


J: S. and I are going to the movies today! Any suggestions?
Mom: You just wait! You will never see another movie again when you have a kid. [notice she never answered my question?]


J: The house is a disaster, I need to do some cleaning tonight.
Mom: You just wait! Pretty soon kids toys will be everywhere.

First of all, the term ‘you just wait’ is very threatening. Why are you threatening me with things I already know? I know I won’t sleep much (unless you are my sister in law, who has a 4 week old she has to wake up to nurse. I have yet to see that kid’s eyes), I know our couple time will be limited and our house will continue to be a disaster. We’ve seen sitcoms, we have friends with kids … we thought of all this.

Second of all, just because that was your experience, doesn’t mean it will be mine. I worked for an organization of entrepreneurs and we used the Gestalt Language Protocol, which basically means speaking from EXPERIENCE versus ADVICE. I try to use this on the regular and I think it has kept me, and will keep me, out of the ‘you just wait’ category.  So when I mention how my hips hurt and I’m not sleeping, instead of responding how I will never sleep again, a mom could say, “I know! My hips were a wreck the last month and I didn’t sleep either. When Mikey gets here, try to sleep when he sleeps.”

Look new moms, old moms, and no moms. I would love to hear your advice instead of your condescending ‘you – have- no – idea – what – you’ve – gotten – yourself – into – silly – girl’ phrase of ‘you just wait’.

Please know this is annoying and not helpful to pregnant women.

Go Away, Oh Wait a Minute

This is a post I never thought I would write. Going through the weeks of shots and first trimester of waiting, I never thought the day would come when I was so tired of being pregnant. I knew it would be hard, but I would be so thankful through every process. I am having a hard time with my mind going back and forth with emotions now that we are down to the last 4 weeks of pregnancy.

Go Away:

Mikey – it is time. I know you need a few more weeks to cook, but Mommy is really tired of being pregnant. REALLY tired. Because I’m not sleeping so well, mainly because YOU aren’t sleeping well my little night owl. My feet look like Fred Flintstone’s and my back and tushie are screaming for a daily massage. While Daddy is so good at rubbing all my aches and pains – it would be a lot easier if I wasn’t carrying you around! I also miss sleeping in the same bed as your Daddy.  I am so ready to see your little face, perhaps my eyes with Daddy’s nose (he would be so sad for you if that’s the case) or my nose with Daddy’s lips! Will you sleep through the night like your cousin Mollie? Or be a night owl like you are now? A few more weeks and we’ll know for sure. It’s time to come out!

Oh Wait a Minute:

Well crap. When you arrive, which we are so looking forward too, I think I will be sad to not be pregnant anymore. No more knowing smiles from strangers or people asking me when I’m due and gushing over how ‘small’ I look for 4 weeks left. No more eating what I want, when I want (you are the perfect excuse!) and no more getting Daddy to rub my feet or pick up what I dropped.  But mostly, I think  I am going to miss our late night jam session. Me, wide awake, poking at you through my belly and you poking back. Or when I am sitting at my desk deep in thought and I get a quick jab reminding me that you are still there and I should probably shift. People look at non-pregnant people funny when they rub their belly – I should probably break that habit when you arrive. It’s been nice knowing you are always with me, safe and sound.

See what I mean? I want this kid out and in my arms, but I kinda like him in my belly and out of trouble.

What Happens in the Dark

Anyone who has been pregnant knows that sleep becomes a strange thing. You’ve taken it for granted for so long. I use to stay up until 2AM in college, then nap in the afternoons and how I neglected to appreciate that during the time. Since getting married, and before getting pregnant, I would get in bed around 8PM to watch TV with S, and by 10 I was passed out. Now? Who the heck knows what each tonight could bring. Sometimes I will be asleep by 8PM, then up every hour to pee. Other times (mostly when I indulge in a Unisom), I am asleep by 10PM, up once to pee, and sleep like the dead until 8AM.

More often than not, I am ‘napping’ by 10PM, then up every few hours, wide awake and pondering a very odd assortment of  things. Have you seen the movie ‘How Does She Do It‘ with Sarah Jessica Parker? In the beginning, she is up all night running through her to do list. I kinda do the same thing, but it’s not really a to do list, it’s more pondering, worrying and wondering things about our future with a baby. Or stupid stuff. Here’s a quick peek at what I think about when pregnancy induced insomnia kicks in:

  • I wonder what that sex dream with Jason Segel means, and I wonder if he’s Jewish. I need to remember to look him up on IMDB tomorrow.
  • Where is Charlie Beagle and if I get up to pee will it wake him up and make him fuss to go out?
  • Will Charlie like Mikey, and if not, how will we work that out?
  • Mikey will eventually go to college and leave me. Or go to prison and leave me. Does it matter which?
  • I wonder if I had a vocal coach, would my voice be good enough to get me onThe Voice? And if I got on The Voice, which coach would I pick?
  • If I never have another baby, I will never be a Mother of the Bride. Mother of the Groom’s get the short end of the stick.
  • What if Mikey picks a crazy woman as his wife and I don’t like her?
  • Is it Thursday yet? I wonder what time the new People Magazine posts for download. So help me if Snookie is on the cover …
  • I could totally use that Clapper/Salad Spinner/full body girdle/infomercial thing currently on TV. In fact, I’m not sure how I lived without that for so long.
  • Why am I awake, and why does it feel like I am going to give birth Alien styleany minute?
  • I wonder if I am going to have a beautiful baby boy who becomes a holy terror and eventual serial killer. Would I go to court? Would I be one of those mamas on TV who swear he didn’t do it, when it was obvious he did?
There is a quick run down of what I remember thinking about the past few nights while waiting to fall back asleep. What did you think about?

Infertility and Pregnancy Guilt

When we were trying to get pregnant, I imagined being one of those women who never, NEVER, complained about being pregnant. I mean, why would I? We paid a lot of money for me to be pregnant! But guess what. I am Princess Pouty these days, and I feel so guilty about it.

It doesn’t help a lot of my Facebook friends are welcoming their babies (like 3 last night) and I am eager to meet Mikey.  We had a doctor’s appointment last week and my thoughts (and fears) were confirmed – he’s a big one! He’s already 5lbs, when he should be 3.5lb or 4lbs. So I am carrying a lot of baby and my hips and lower back are rebelling. It’s getting harder for me to get up and down, and walking the steps to our apartment leaves me pretty winded.

Also – it’s the worst allergy season since 2010. Which wouldn’t be a problem if I could take my beloved Mucinex DM, but alas, I can’t. I get the piddly pills that hardly work. So I am coughing (and tinkling myself) and sniffling for the past week or so with no end in sight.

I feel like I should be delighting in all aspects of this pregnancy, but I am just not feeling it today. But maybe tomorrow I will feel better. Maybe.

The Bolt Bus Hates Pregnant Women

Well, I am not going to slander the whole Bolt bus line, but if you are 30 weeks pregnant, taking a bus 5 hours is not a good option.  Do you have a Bolt Bus line in your neck of the woods? It’s a great idea. A super cheap bus line that goes from DC to NYC (and a few other stops, like Boston and the Pacific Northwest) for super cheap. Remember how cool it was to be on a coach bus watching movies on your way to the museum on a field trip? Yeah, same idea, but no movie and less cool.

I had to make a last minute trip to NYC for my part time job and you couldn’t beat the $50 round trip ticket. And it’s a bus. How bad can it be?  If I was a college student looking to soak up the NYC night life, the answer is not so bad. If I was 7 months pregnant, the answer is terrible.  First of all, it’s a 5 hour trip sitting. Here’s the run down:

Bus: Meh. It’s a coach bus. They had TVs, but no movies, which I found sad. Really? If you have them, you should use them. Would it kill you to put on Finding Nemo or Seinfield season 1?

Bathroom: Very, VERY important if you are pregnant. I sat near the back to make sure I could get there quickly. But with the way it was situated, the door opened BARELY for me to squeeze in. I’m not a huge pregnant woman either! Plus, with the rocking of the bus, I had to lean against the back wall to hike up my pants. It was a glorified porta-potty, but smelled less … porta potty. Even the toilet paper was thread bare and hanging by a string. Literally. A string.

People: It takes all kinds right? There were all kinds on the Bolt bus. I sat next to a woman from Alaska who was riding standby with her husband for a last minute trip to see some shows for her 60th birthday. She was so kind, and made sure I was comfortable (more on that later).  The couple behind me … well. They were DC hipsters going to some swanky spa in NYC and he is a photographer who photographed Joan Rivers house. Which begs the question … why were they on the Bolt bus? People seemed very pre-occupied with their laptops and ipads, so it was a quiet ride.

Wi-fi: Bolt bus loves to brag on it’s free wi-fi, which was nice. Slow, but nice. The challenge was, the seats didn’t have tray tables, so you had to hold you device in your lap. Again, great – unless you lap is taken over by a pregnant belly.

I would say by hour 4, I was getting restless. Our 10 minute break at the Delaware House wasn’t nearly enough to take care of my restless legs and swollen ankles. I will, of course, use the Bolt bus again when I am sans a pregnant belly.

On an unrelated note, I realized last minute I booked my departure ticket the same day as my return and after 48+ hours in NYC living with my boss, I was close to an epic meltdown. No reason to try to book another ticket – they were sold out for a couple hours, and my ankles didn’t allow any sort of standby.  I sucked it up and Amtraked it home. Tray tables, leg room, huge bathrooms … a pregnant woman’s dream.

Oh the Places You’ll Go

I can’t believe I never blogged about my Northern Virginia baby shower! I had it a few weeks ago, and one of my best friends, MS planned it. It. Was. Perfect. I love reading, and I hope Mikey does too – so it was a Dr. Seuss theme. If you are on Pinterest, get your ‘pin it’ button ready for some of these pictures. MS is so creative and thoughtful. Plus, we had a lot of fun! Here’s some highlights. 

Everyone signed a onsie for Mike with fun messages

Hop on Popcorn!


The happy host, we dressed Dr. Seuss style

Unemployed and Pregnant

Well friends – I got laid off on Friday. I had an inkling it was coming, but not as soon as it did. This is what happens when you work for a start-up that relies on an unreliable government.  I cried, I freaked out and ate pudding – multiple times over the weekend. Now that it’s Monday, I have to get my sh*t together and formulate a plan.

No lies, I’m mad. Not at my employer, or the CEO – but at the situation. I just started my third trimester, a time when I should be feeling for kicks and decorating the nursery and folding clothes, yet I am wondering how we long we are going to have to live on my savings. The odds of me finding a full time job for 2 months, then taking maternity leave is slim to none.  So I am looking for a part time, temporary office job.  Which may or may not happen in time.

And I’m mad I am going to spend my ‘maternity leave’ looking for full time jobs instead of adjusting to life as a mommy and bonding with my baby.  If I am not called back to my previous company (the best situation), I will need to move on to something else. I am lucky to be doing consulting work for a company part time, and that will help supplement what we will need to pull out of savings. And we have family that can help with things – they promise we won’t be naked, hungry, or living on the street.

It still sucks, and I’m still dealing with it. But in a few days I will probably be able to relax and focus on what I need to do to keep Mikey and myself healthy.