Category: Pregnancy

Picture This

The trouble with having a blog, and having friends and family read it, means I worry a lot about the things I say offending people. Please know this is never my intention. Look, I hate meatloaf. But that doesn’t mean I judge people who DO like meatloaf (well, openly judge them. Meatloaf is gross). So please don’t take what I am going to say personally. Or anything I say for that matter.

This leads me into my biggest anxiety right now – my maternity pictures. First of all, I’ve always been a big girl, and now that I am pregnant and bigger, I am totally embracing it. But I hate the fact I have 2 baby belly bumps (which pregnancy forum boards refer to as a ‘B Belly’) and I don’t have that perfectly round baby bump. I know at the end of the day, I am growing a super little baby boy, but I am patiently looking forward to a ‘D Belly’ – if it ever appears.

I normally turn my B into a D with full panel pants and such, but I know it’s there, and now that we’ve scheduled our maternity picture session in 2 weeks, I am so worried I will just look like a fat girl having a photo sess with her huberoni.  I am so blessed to have the most amazing, talented, photographer, Laura Dye, who made me look amazing in our engagement and wedding photos. I’ve emailed her quite a few times with my insane rambling anxieties and she is doing a good job of keep me in check and ‘getting it’.

I also sent her a list of things that will not be happening during our maternity photo shoot:

  • Naked bellies – Obvi.
  • Naked husbands – Hey. Husbands have insecurities too!
  • Bows around the belly
  • Doing awkward poses in strange places – Showing the bump while laying on the back of a cow. Strange.
  • Flowing sheets – Hey! Let’s make the big girl feel even bigger! Plus, I tend to get tangled in my sheets in the middle of the night, so adding it into the photo shoot might be disastrous.
  • Lingerie – Unless it’s my big butt, to my belly button maternity panties. I would consider those.

I guess the easiest way to describe what I want is a couple’s photo shoot where I just happen to be pregnant. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes!

Pregnant Life vs. College Life

I updated my Facebook status a few nights ago and pointed out that I was up at 2AM eating chocolate pudding and my friend from high school noted it sounded a lot like his college days. You know what? He’s right. Here’s how being pregnant is a lot like being in college:

Up all night: When I was in college, I had no problem staying up until 3AM to study, or more likely hit a DC bar or club. Why not? I could sleep until 2PM and be up and functional before my Communication Theory class. As a pregnant woman, I am up all night now again! But this time I am heading to the bathroom, adding to my Amazon wishlist, watching TVLand and worrying about having a baby in just a few short months.

Napping in the afternoon: After a night on the town during college, my roommate and I would cat nap or watch The Hills in the afternoon before gearing up for another night out. Nowadays, by 3PM I am so tired from not sleeping at night, and working I cat nap or watch Ellen. It’s a win!

Eating weird food: I was up eating pudding at 2AM this morning and it was glorious. And yes, I had egg drop soup for breakfast and crave MUG root beer (not Barqs or A&W – Mug Root Beer all the way). In college, we would run through the Wendy’s drive thru for french fries and Frostys for dipping at 2AM. And my roommate might have been known for eating Ramen noodles like they were about to be recalled.

Wearing yoga/PJ pants more often than not: I do own some maternity pants, and they are not fun or really comfortable. Working from home allows me to wear anything I want – so I do. I wear maternity yoga pants, or my bathrobe, or my PJ pants. While in college, I wasn’t as bad as some, but I did wear my Marymount sweatpants until they had a hole in the crotch. And maybe a few times afterwards with my knees closed. Did I mention Marymount is a fashion school?

Skipping events to watch TV: I mentioned watching TV or cat napping before right? I am usually so tired by 3PM, I try to bow out of anything social or work related after that time so I can stay in my jammies and watch Ellen or whatever I missed on prime time the night before. My roommate and I used to skip classes to watch The Hills or the Real World – I am totally dating myself here. And if the class was on a Thursday night once a week, it was a miracle we ever showed up (and frankly a miracle we graduated, sorry Mom).

Lots of whining: In college, I whined about everything – snow ruining weekend plans, cheeseburgers again in the cafeteria, the price of textbooks. Now that I am pregnant, I whine just as much. This time it’s about peeing all night, ugly maternity clothes and that annoying hip pain I get mid-afternoon. I’m sure I am just as fun to be around now as in college.

Gaining weight: At Marymount, the cafeteria helped me gain weight. Now my pudding cravings in the middle of the night and the growing boy are helping me. I won’t go into details.

Spending money you don’t have: Babies are expensive, that’s not a surprise. They need a crib, a car seat … even a stroller (what’s up with THAT?). Thanks to the economy, we aren’t exactly rolling in the big bucks. While our wallets are thicker than they were in college, they are still pretty lean. In college, I was silly enough to view credit as cash, so I was buying Gap  sweaters and TJMaxx purses I couldn’t afford. I’ve learned my lesson, and now shop consignment.

Worrying about your future: While I was enjoying the freedom of college life, I was also worrying about my future. Will I get a job (yes)? Will I have to move home (no)? Will I ever find love (yes)? Now I still worry, but about different things. Will I raise a serial killer (doubtful)? Will I ever be able to shave my legs without leaning over and groaning (probably)? Will I drop the baby on his head (probably … no, likely)?

You want what you can’t have: In college I wanted a lot of things I couldn’t have. Designer clothes, a new car, the usual. Now that I’m pregnant, I want food I can’t have. I am suddenly craving mimosas, cold cut subs and sushi. All things I wasn’t pressed about BEFORE getting pregnant!

Am I missing anything?

Maternity Underwear is Not Sexy

It’s been awhile, yes. And I haven’t skipped blogging because I am out of witty things to say, no – I have plenty of things I think that are hilarious to say, but I have been so tired I haven’t really put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). I should get better at this.

Things are going well pregnancy wise – starting to feel huge, rolling over adds a bit of hilarity to my night, Mikey is kicking up a storm … everything is as it should be. We’ve started working on the nursery and buying ‘bigger’ ticket items 2nd hand that we don’t anticipate people buying for our next baby shower (oh! I need to blog about my first one). Which begs a question – why don’t we have richer friends? We even hired a trainer for our current baby on 4 legs who is terrified of the stroller. TERRIFIED.

6a00e54f937a85883401543484e294970cI am strictly and happily in maternity clothes now, but had been struggling with my *ahem* underwear. I am pretty set in my ways regarding the style and brand of underwear that works for me (Cacique, hipsters if you must know) and I’ve had a hard time giving them up and trying something of the maternity variety because it is so hard to size right and it’s not cheap. And not sexy. Not that my hipsters will ever be on the cover of Maxim, but they aren’t nylon high-waisters from the 70s.

I had a big order going into Amazon, so I added a set of high-waisted underwear from Motherhood Maternity since my waist is getting bigger and thus the underwear will not be that high for long. When I opened the package to show Sam, we all got a good laugh. They were HUGE. Like, no way my shrinking butt and hips and growing belly would fit into those things.

But they did. Perfectly.

And holy sh*t they are comfortable.

Granted, they come up to my belly button and sag a little in my tushie, but they are an answer to my prayers. No more sitting in meetings feeling my hipsters slowly roll down my belly, or walking in the parking lot feeling them creepy down my butt. Or getting changed and seeing the imprint of the elastic on my belly. Can the baby even breathe with underwear that tight? Who cares, I am so in my comfort zone.

Anxious About Anxiety

Baby had a great doctor’s appointment last night, he is super active (S. felt him kick the other night!) and his heartbeat is steady. I, however, am still a little miffed this morning about somethings the midwife said. Mainly that my anxiety is a little high. Um, yes. I’m pregnant. Aren’t all pregnant women anxious?

And what was this based on? A few things:

1. I asked when I can color my hair. I’ve heard a dozen different things, and I wanted to be sure.

2. I mentioned my lack of sleep. I fall asleep okay, and sleep deep until like … 1PM and then it’s party time. I can watch a whole movie or read ALL my blogs. I was just saying how frustrating it is, and how tired I am during the day. Her response? Our bodies adjust and make the most of the time I am awake. Okay then.

3. I mentioned my crazy dreams about our ‘baby’ falling in the bathtub, and not knowing the baby’s father (trust me, we do know).

So midwife mentioned watching out for post-partum depression (She mentioned this to my adoring husband, NOT me). I am just a little irritated about all this. I had a bad day, crap is going on at work. I’m tired. I’m pregnant. I have off days. I just hope my midwife was having an off day since she is usually so fabulous.

Channeling my Inner Napoleon Dynamite

Are you a fan of the cult classic Napoleon Dynamite? I’ve had a wicked cold the past few days, and my lips are seriously suffering. I feel like every hour I am having the same conversation as Napoleon when he called his brother for chapstick. “My lips hurt real bad!”

There is nothing worse than being pregnant and sick. All the good drugs are off limits, so you are stuck with ones that don’t work well, or standing in a steamy bathroom blowing your nose every hour. However, I’ve had lots of time to read celebrity gossip magazines in said bathroom and I can’t stop thinking about Khloe Kardashian. And no, I am not a 14 year old boy.

With the whole Kim and Kanye baby situation, and Khloe being public about her struggle with infertility, I just feel so sad for her. And yet – proud of her for handling it the way she is. I can only imagine what Khloe is thinking. Probably that she is the only sister who is married and not a [total] fame-whore and yet, she isn’t getting pregnant. I hosted my Sister in Law’s baby shower this weekend and I briefly considered how I would feel if we were still trying and it was heartbreaking. I really hope she gets the baby she deserves soon, in the meantime, I am sure she will be a good sister.

Birth Plan? I Got One

People always ask the same questions when they see I’m pregnant:

Q: When are you due?
A: June 8th(ish)!

Q: Do you know the sex?
A: Yes! It’s a little boy, Michael Alan after his grandfathers

Q: Do you have a birth plan?
A: Um … yes. To leave the hospital with a baby?

Apparently birth plans are the new ‘big thing’ for pregnant women to obsess over. What kind of things do birth plans include? Dim lights, food if desired, walk as desired, labor props (Puppets? I like puppets), the ability to push instinctively, discharged as soon as possible … the list goes on. Baby Center makes it super easy, you can print out a 4 page PDF with options to simply hand to your doctor when it’s time to get the bun out of the oven.

What’s my birth plan? Get the kid out by any means necessary and as quickly and safely as possible. I’ve talked to enough friends and seen enough of TLC’s Baby Story to know things don’t always go as planned and it leaves Mommies feeling guilty and disappointed in their birth experience. Look, I’m sorry it didn’t go as planned, but you left the hospital with a baby right? So it really DID go as planned. You went to the hospital pregnant and left with a baby (preferably YOUR baby).

Sometimes I think I am too laid back to be a parent, but sometimes it works in my favor. I have no expectations, except to leave the hospital with a baby. And have an epidural. Birth plan: done.

Keep Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’

I am excited to say I am finally feeling, what I think is, Mikie moving around! And if that’s the case, holy moly, this kid is going to be bouncing off the walls. I feel him jab the most in the morning when we are walking around or listening to (country) music. And then I feel a few jabs mid-day and then I feel lots of rolls in the evening. I can’t WAIT until what I am feeling on the inside, is obvious on the outside, so Sam can feel this craziness.

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

Wow, it’s been a long time since my last blog, and what a time it’s been! As I mentioned before, S. and I went to find out the sex of our baby and I was right! We’re having a boy! We had so much fun going to Infant See 4D, talk about fancy! It was done in a huge room with a big bed with fancy sheets, dim lights, candles and music. There was a HUGE projector screen and a long couch for my adoring fans. Or just S. We had 15 minutes with a very friendly tech who shared in our excitement. And Michael Alan left nothing to question. He … ahem … was very accommodating. And VERY active. It is the most surreal experience to SEE something inside of you moving around and kicking, but not feeling anything. I can’t wait for those moments.

We had to keep our mouth shut for a few days since Christmas was 3 days away and we wanted to do a fun reveal. If we had to wait any longer, my sister in law would have smothered me in my sleep. We had everyone pick blue or pink balloons and we blew them up at the same time. The blue ones blew up and the pink ones had pin holes, so they didn’t blow up. A lot of our family picked a boy, so it was pretty cool to see the excitement.

To be honest, this is all still very surreal. Maybe because I can’t feel him move around yet, or because I am just too tired to think about it. I’m just struggling to believe I am actually pregnant!

Old Wives Decide

It’s hard to believe on Saturday S. and I find out if I am growing a boy or a girl. I will feel silly if it’s a girl because I’ve called it him for so long. We are planning a fun gender reveal on Christmas when our families are all together. Which also means we have to keep this HUGE secret for a few days, which already seems like eternity. I am not sure how people keep pregnancies a secret for so long.

I stole this idea from another infertility blog I frequent, but let’s look at some old wives tales to determine the sex of Baby W.

Old Wives Tale #4:  Heart Rate
If the baby’s heart rate is above 140 bpm, it is said that the baby will be a girl.  If it is under 140 bpm, then it will be a boy.
The only time we tracked the heart rate, it was 139. It’s a boy … barely!
Old Wives Tale #12:  Shape of Belly
If you are carrying high with a big, round belly, you are having a girl.  If you are carrying low with a smaller belly that sticks straight out, it’s a boy.
I feel like it’s too soon to figure this out. But my lower belly is hard, but hard towards the center. I am going to say high and go with a girl.
Old Wives Tale #13:  Ring Test
Using a string, hang your wedding ring over your pregnant belly.  You are having a girl if the ring swings back and forth  and it’s a boy if it swings in a circle.
Definitely a circle. Boy.
Old Wives Tale #14:  Shape of Mom’s Face
When your face gets fuller and rounder when pregnant, it means you’re going to have a girl.  If your face is long and narrow, it’s a boy.
I feel like my face has gotten narrower as of now. Boy.
Old Wives Tale #15:  Key Test
Pick up a key.  If you pick up a key at the top (the roundest part), you are going to have a boy.  If you pick up the key at the bottom (smallest part), you are going to have a girl.  If you happen to grab the key in the middle, congrats, it’s twins!
Before reading the test I picked up a key by the biggest part. Boy
Old Wives Tale #16:  Mayan Tale
The Mayan tale adds the mothers age at conception and the year of conception.  If the result is a even number then mom is having a girl.  If the result is an odd number then a boy is on the way!
Result: 2,039. Boy.
Old Wives Tale #17:  Drano Test
The drano test combines a tablespoon of Drano and urine together.  If the mixture turns green, it’s a girl.  If it turns blue, it’s a boy.
Yeah, I’m not going to do this one.
Old Wives Tale #18:  Acne
If you have acne while pregnant, it’s a girl.  It’s thought that acne during pregnancy is caused by the extra hormones.
My skin has been very dry, no acne. Boy.
Old Wives Tale #19:  Cravings
People believe that if you are craving salty foods while pregnant, you can count on having a boy.  If you crave sweets, fruit, and orange juice, you are having a little girl.
I feel like my biggest cravings have been Dirty Potato Chips and Peanut Butter. Boy!
Old Wives Tale #21:  Ultrasound
I’m not sure that this falls under ‘old wives tales’, but, as with anything, ultrasounds may not be accurate all of the time.
Too early to tell.
Old Wives Tale #22:  Skin under Left Eye
The eye test is when a “V” or “branches” appear when you pull down the skin under your left eye.  If you see a “V” or “branches” in the white part, you’re having a girl.
I see none. Boy.

Old Wives Tale #25:  History of Parent’s Kids
You can find out the sex by going off of your parent’s kids and the order.  If you are the first born, you will have what your mother had but starting with her second child.  If you are the middle child, you will have what she said, but starting with the third child.  If you are the last child, you will have what your mother had in the exact order.  I think this tale only works when the parent’s had three kids.
I am the first born, and Mom’s second (and last kid) was a boy. Thus, it’s a boy!
Old Wives Tale #26:  Time of Conception
The person that is most aggressive in bed at the time of conception is the opposite of what the baby will be.
This is weird and not something I remember or care to share. Plus with fertility treatments, I am sure we were in the ‘let’s get this done’ mind.
Old Wives Tale #27:  Legs
If your legs get really big, you’re having a boy.  If your legs stay in shape and lean, it’s a girl.
Sam said I was gaining weight in my legs. It’s a boy 🙂
Old Wives Tale #28:  Moodiness and a Little Pecker
If you are really moody, you are having a girl since you have another extra girl hormones in you.  Your pregnancy will make you smile and be more happy if you are having a boy because there’s a little penis inside you.
This is really creepy, but I would say I’m happier. Boy.

Old Wives Tale #29:  Bread
If you eat the ends of bread, it’s a boy.  If you eat the middle of the load, it’s a girl.
Who eats the butt of the bread? Gross. It’s a girl.
Old Wives Tale #30:  Chinese Gender Chart
The Chinese Gender Chart claims to have an accuracy rate of over 90%.  It is based on how old the mother is at conception and the month that she conceived.
Boy.
Old Wives Tale #31:  Mom’s Beauty
Basically you are having a girl if your beauty disappears during pregnancy.  It is said that the girl “steals” the mother’s beauty.  If you think that pregnancy has never made you look more beautiful, you might just be having a little boy.
All I hear is the pregnancy glow and how happy and thin I look. It’s boy!
Old Wives Tale #33:  Clumsy vs. Graceful
If the pregnant woman is graceful throughout her pregnancy, she’s having a girl.  If she becomes clumsy, she’s having a boy.
Clumsy by far. Boy.
Old Wives Tale #34:  Toddlers
If a toddler boy expresses interest in a pregnant woman, she is having a girl.  If he doesn’t show interest, she’s having a boy.
The only toddler I’ve been around has shown zero interest in me, and all the interest in S. It’s a boy!
Old Wives Tale #35:  Side You Most Rest On
If a pregnant woman prefers to lay on her left side, she’s having a boy.  If she prefers resting on her right side, she’s having a girl.
I prefer the right. Girl.
Old Wives Tale #39:  Necklace Over Hand
Have someone hold a necklace over your hand.  If the necklace swings back and forth, it’s a boy.  If it moves in a circle, it’s a girl.
Back and forth. Boy.
Old Wives Tale #40:  What Do You Think?
71% of the time, the mom-to-be knows what she is having.
Boy!
Old Wives Tale #41:  Morning Sickness
If you had a smooth pregnancy with no morning sickness, it’s a boy.  If you were sick or felt really nauseous during your pregnancy, count on a girl.
Easy Peasy, boy.
Old Wives Tale #43:  Protein
When a pregnant woman craves meat and cheese, count on a boy.
Slim Jims … boy.
Old Wives Tale #44:  Feet
Are your feet colder now that you are pregnant?  If so, you just might be having a boy.  If your feet have stayed the same before pregnancy and during, you’re having a little girl.
Feet are freezing! Boy.
Old Wives Tale #45:  Hair on Legs
If the hair on your legs has been growing at record speeds, you might be having a boy.
I’m like Tim Allen on the Santa Clause. It’s hilarious and gross. Boy.
Old Wives Tale #46:  Hands are Dry
If your hands are constantly dry, it’s a boy.
What if your dry ALL OVER ALL THE TIME? Boy.
Old Wives Tale #49:  Headaches
If you are having headaches, you might be carrying a boy.
I miss my Excedrine Migraine. Boy.
Old Wives Tale #51:  Baby Names
It is said that when you can only think of specific names for a boy or a girl, you will have that particular baby.
We already agree on a boy AND girl name! 🙂

Worst. Blogger. Ever

The minute I go public with my blog, I fall off the face of the earth. At least it seems that way! We’ve officially moved into our new apartment and working our way through the boxes. I am already loving the extra space and visualizing where baby toys will go and where we will do feedings and tummy time. It’s a fun vision!

I am officially in the 2nd trimester! I am now eating like a normal person, but way more tired than before. These days I’ve likened taking a shower to running a marathon. It doesn’t help that I work from home and I can get away with dirty hair for a day.

I had to stock up on some more maternity clothes, it seems nothing fits, especially pants. I put on my ‘regular’ pants the other day and attempted the belly band and it was down right humorous. I couldn’t even zip the zipper enough to hide my polka dotted panties.

I could write a list a mile long about things that are making me cry. Mostly the thought that my baby will go to college and leave me one day, the Carters commercial with the little kid talking and how being pregnant isn’t always fun and we were morons for thinking this was a good idea. I am lucky S. is so understanding. I would have laughed in my face.

We find out the sex of this little peach (it’s the size of a peach this week!) on the 22nd and I am planning a gender reveal on Christmas when our families are there. I hope I can keep my mouth shut for those days 🙂