Parental Units, now is the time to turn away, it’s gunna get all TMI up in here.

Here’s the low down. I’ve had sex with a few people (I’m somewhere between a prude and a whore), and always used protection. Even until my husband became my future husband, we were using condoms. Oddly enough, it never occured to me not to. I didn’t want a baby and didn’t trust The Pill (which I was on mainly to handl my PCOS).

The fun part of marriage is not using condoms. No more late night runs to CVS with teenagers smirking behind the counter. No more stopping and ripping the wrapper open and no more barrier feeling. Side note: Kids, wear condoms – trust me. No it doesn’t feel as good, but neither does having a kid. But seriously, married people don’t wear condoms. Or so I thought.

Since we’ve embarked on this journey to parenthood, we are using condoms, which seems completely counterproductive. Let me explain …

I can’t take my ‘baby meds’ if I am pregnant, and you won’t get a positive pregnancy test until about 2 weeks after conception. So if I were to have unprotected sex tonight … we might be pregnant. But we would have to wait 2 weeks to make sure it’s safe to start the meds. Make sense? It’s like playing Super Mario Brothers and getting to the 2nd to last level, dying and having to start back at square one.

So as I am buying fertility kits, pregnancy tests and Clomid, I am picking up condoms. I can only imagine what the CVS clerk is thinking. And after reading the doctor’s instructions (again), it looks like each Clomid cycle we can have sex unprotected for 3 days. 3 days.

In the meantime, we are going to pretend we are high schoolers and our parents are out of town.

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