In (almost) 24 hours, I will be a mom. This makes me laugh, get choked up and wonder how we got here. The best part of a c-section is it’s quick. No 18 hours of pushing, just laying there for 10 minutes while someone else does the work. On the other hand, we’ve had this schedule for a week and a half. I would probably have been happier pushing for 18 hours instead of thinking about and Googling for a week and a half.
Just like with pushing, everyone has their own stories and I’ve been obsessed with reading about what the expect, which is … something different for everyone. Am I nervous? Yes! More so than I thought. I had my gallbladder sucked out through my belly button, so how hard could this be? Then again, I am worried about the big stuff. Not feeling connected to my baby (which has nothing to do with having a c-section and everything to do with being bat sh*t crazy), failing miserably at breast feeding, leaving him at the hospital when we are discharged … I know rationally none of this is true, or even remotely true. But a week and a half is a long time to sit and think about (and Google) everything. I’m lucky to have a good support team around me who can assure me that I will bond with the baby, breastfeeding will (or will not) happen (and if not, life goes on) and someone will make sure we have the baby when we leave.
Pregnancy and becoming a parent makes you crazy. And in (almost) 24 hours, I will not be a pregnant anymore.