Hello, It’s Me

Hello, it’s me.

If I am being honest I think about blogging and Muddling Momma every day. Mostly on my way to work, or on the way home from work and in the shower. But I haven’t posted in ages. I think the main reason is I am not sure what I want this blog to be. I originally started here as a way to share my infertility journey. That morphed (thankfully) into life as a pregnant person. Then into life of a new mom. And most recently, life as a mom in general. I am obviously still a mom, but I am not sure I want to share every detail of my son’s life. I carefully curated a lot of stuff on this blog with him in mind. Who knows what kids will be doing in 10 years when he is 14, perhaps blogging will be a thing of a past, but I don’t want his high school baseball/math club/DnD club/band members stumbling on this and finding out he pooped in the bathtub (he didn’t, FYI). I share enough of the funny stuff on Facebook.

But I am not ready to give up the idea of blogging. I am hoping to have another baby soon. I started working again full time in an executive level position, I am preparing to travel for the first time since Mike was born. I am stumbling on cool products for him, me, and families in general. We are exploring Maryland and I want to share that.

But let’s face it. I’m tired. Parents get that. So I might not post daily, weekly – hopefully monthly. But I am excited to produce new content that is useful. Stay tuned, and thanks for hanging in with me through this season of life.

Radio Silence

I’m still here. I honestly have lost some motivation to blog lately. I think about it daily, but when push comes to shove, I don’t feel like I have much to say. Things have gone a little sideways with my career – I have been unemployed since Halloween, but I am hopeful that after the holidays the interviews will pick up. In the meantime I have been making sugar scrubs and there has been a bunch of local interest in them for gifts. I even opened an Etsy shop!

We moved into our new home – our first home! And we are looking forward to celebrating the holidays here. It feels like a mansion compared to our previous rentals. We are planning on growing our family in the new year with the help of Shady Grove again. I am not excited to start the infertility process again, but we’ve learned the end result is well worth the hassle.

I’ll be back in a few weeks when I am out of my funk. We’ve all been there. In the meantime, my kid is beyond adorable …

 

Happy Birthday Marcie Jane!

Dear Miss Marcie Jane –

You are 1 (and a few weeks)! When on earth did that happen? Some days I feel like you are still a couple months old, but then I remember how much you’ve been through and I think you should be 16 by now. But alas, you are wonderfully one.

My sweet niece, you came into this world with so many people loving you and wondering what your future held – more so than other babies – because of your cleft. Once you were here it was obvious you were not going to be held back by that or anything else for that matter! We spent a lot of time together in the hospital MJ and while I hate that you had so many hospital visits, I am glad I could be there for you and your Momma and Daddy.

You have a personality bigger than I think we were ready for and that is going to take you places! If I had to place a bet, I think you are going to be the one to stand up to injustice. Why you ask? Well, you sit quietly and observe. You take in what’s going on and who is doing what. THEN when you think you’ve been wronged you voice your concerns. Loudly. More ice cream, warmer bottle, being picked up … we know what you want. I think you are going to use that quietness to see things that aren’t right in the world and then use your loud voice to make a change.

Your cousin Mikey is smitten with you. He always says ‘Mah-see is coot’. He will see a toy commercial on TV and say he wants to give it to you. I think between him and your sister you have quite a posse.

You have such an exciting life ahead of you with so many people in your corner. Sweet MJ, if you need anything ever Aunt Jay Jay has your back. I love you!

Happy Birthday,

Aunt Jackie

Since You’ve Been Gone

Whoa, it’s been a hot minute hasn’t it. I am finding that after the 12 For 1 Diaper Drive I tend to take a break from blogging. It’s not really planned, but it tends to go that way. Which is a shame since we’ve had a lot of fun the past month! I’ll catch you up.

Mike had his first screening for Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy and tested just fine with no restrictions. This was great news to confirm, but we already had a feeling he was just fine.

Mikey started his 2nd year of preschool at the same place he was last year and over the summer. His favorite color is red and he wants to be an astronaut.

I started a temp job in Annapolis and this is my view – fingers crossed it goes permanent in a few weeks.

We took our first family vacation (where we didn’t stay with family) to Ocean City. Mike loved the beach!

He wasn’t too keen on the rides, but did jump on the boats for a spin.

Did I mention we stayed in a hotel? Mike loved letting either Mommy or Daddy sleep in ‘his bed’.

Oh yeah, #12for1 raced passed the 15K goal and went right to 22K diapers. No biggie ūüėČ

The Gift of Redbox

Who doesn’t love a movie night? I remember the days of Blockbuster (or if you grew up in my hometown – Video Scene). Wandering around looking for a movie that was in stock then rushing back before noon the following day to return it. Ah, the things our children will never experience.

Now we hop online, find the latest release and reserve it on the Redbox down the street at Harris Teeter so we can swing by on our way home to pick up a movie and a pizza. Family night for under $15!

That’s why I am a huge fan of giving Redbox promo codes, which is what we gave Mike’s teachers this year at Christmas and the end of the year. I purchased the codes (a five code minimum), had them emailed to me directly, then a code on a card and taped it to a box of popcorn. Easy, less than $5 per person AND everyone raved about how nice it was to have an ‘experience’ and not another mug. If you really want to spoil someone, add some movie theater candy and fuzzy socks in popcorn bowl.

So as the summer comes to a close and you are rushing around for a thank you gift for your babysitter, baseball coach or swim instructor, don’t break the bank. Give the gift of a movie night!

Here are some gift cards to print, just add the promo code and popcorn!

download

download

download

download

Notice how there isn’t a fancy disclaimer about how Redbox sponsored this post? Good. Because they didn’t! I just think they offer a great way to have a movie night and make it easy to give a gift. Unless Rebox wants to throw a little something my way … (hint, hint, nudge, nudge).¬†

Find Cheap Diapers (and then donate them!)

In just one short day we will be officially launching the 4th Annual 12 For 1 Diaper Drive! I can’t believe it’s been 4 years and 30,000 diapers since this whole concept started. The good news is in those 4 years there has been an interest in the diaper gap thanks to Obama addressing this¬†as well as celebs such as Kerry Washington and Jen Garner taking it up as one of their causes. But even cooler is how the 12 For 1 has collected about 30,000 diapers to help close the diaper gap on Delmarva.

Since we relieve a lot of our donations through monetary donations (donate here) I work very hard to stretch those dollars into the most amount of diapers for the least amount of money. I have been so surprised with where I find diapers! Whether you are trying to stretch your dollar for your family or to donate to needy families, here are some places to look for cheap diapers:

{Consignment Shop or Thrift Store} Our local consignment shop takes closed diaper packs and sells them for a fraction of the price and I have picked up open diaper packs at our local Goodwill. It’s obviously a crap shoot if they have any, but next time you are browsing the used books or baby clothes ask if they have any diapers!

{Marshalls/TJMaxx} Last year I hit the jackpot at Marshalls. It seems like Marshalls regularly carries Naty and Seventh Generation brand diapers.

{Zulily} Are you a member of Zulily yet? I love their deals, and they are known to have ‘shops’ for Naty and Huggies diapers. The key is to sign up for alerts and make your purchase quick – they go super fast!

{ANY Sale Shelf} I often wonder how frequently diaper companies change their branding because when they make a small change, the current product has to go on discount. I’ve found diapers on sale shelves in grocery stores, big box stores (hello Walmart!) and kid specific stores like Toys R Us.

{Facebook Marketplace} When I did a quick check of the Facebook Marketplace (which is an aggregate of all the yard sale groups you belong to) and within a 19 mile radius of my suburban home there are OVER 30 listings for diapers. If the thrill of the hunt is your thing, start there.

{Amazon Warehouse} Amazon is a given when it comes to buying diapers (and books and fire extinguishers and dog food and lemonade and …). But did you know you can buy open boxes of diapers for a discount? Just search in the Amazon Warehouse. No one who needs diapers cares if the box is a little banged up.

So now that you have some new diaper shopping tips, why don’t you pick up a few packs (open or otherwise) for the 12 For 1 Diaper Drive? Here’s how you can donate.

Finding Work From Home Opportunities

I seem to have become the ‘work from home’ go-to person among my friends, probably because I have worked from home for a few years and, despite the pros and cons, I really like it.¬† So as my friends realize that the 9-5 cubical stay isn’t the best option for their productivity and life, they are reaching out to me to figure out how to work for a company from their couch.

I’ve done some research and here are some resources for finding employers who hire virtual (or semi-virtual) staff. But first, understand these are not direct sale opportunities. While I can appreciate the hustle, a lot of us need stable income and a 401K.¬† Also, none of these are affiliate links.

{Flexjobs} I grew up hearing you should never have to pay for a job, but times are changing and Flexjobs is worth paying for because the listings have been vetted by real people. The interface is a little clunky, but it curates jobs that have a remote, part-time, freelance, or flexible option. They have plenty of payment options and a really easy cancellation policy for when you find that virtual job! Try using the code saving30 to save 30% off (if that doesn’t work, check RetailMeNot).

{Work From Home Mom Revolution} WFHMR is a blog that has a ton of resources and a free weekly email with a roundup of opportunities.

{FlexProfessional} If you are in the Washington DC or Boston area, you should check out FlexProfessional. They are a VA based placement agency focusing on companies looking for flexible staff. You will find a lot of part time or flexible hour positions and sometimes strictly teleworking. Their service is free and have great resources on re-entering the workforce.

{remoteok.io} Remote Ok is another great job board resource for finding remote work. It tends to be technical work for startups, but sometimes there are customer service and non-technical roles listed.

{Research} This one takes more work, but if you look at your local ‘Best Places to Work’ publications you can often find local companies who hire virtual staff (or at least provide some telework options).

As I mentioned, I am a big fan of alternate work environments, but it’s painfully obvious that companies and organizations are slow to adapt. Despite what research says!

Don’t forget to add me on LinkedIn!

An Out of This World Birthday Party

I try not to be the type of parent that tries to ‘keep up with the Jones’ but Mike’s first ‘non-family’ birthday party gave me a stomachache. I wanted it to be fun for the kids (most of whom I only knew by sight) and not a horrible experience for the parents. Turns out I had nothing to worry about! Mike and his friends had an awesome time at his astronaut birthday party.

Anyone who knows me knows I love a good theme. Thanks to Amazon, Etsy and Pinterest we were able to dive into Mike’s chosen theme – Astronauts. Our menu was simple:

  • Asteroids: Chick-Fil-A nuggets
  • Rockets: Fruit Kabobs
  • Energy Packs: Single serving chips
  • Sunbeams: Mini-Corn dogs
  • Space Salad: Macaroni Salad with space pasta
  • Space Ice Cream
  • Rocket Fuel – Water bottle/Lemonade

We decided to jump on the ‘no present’ bandwagon. Of course that doesn’t mean no gifts from family, but there is no need to ask his friends to bring a gift. Instead, we asked them to bring diapers for the 12 For 1 Diaper Drive. I wasn’t sure how this would go over with Mike, but we didn’t hear a peep about it. He was plenty spoiled by his family and that’s okay!

For activities we had a craft table with space themed stickers and paper plates to decorate. I also discovered an awesome Etsy seller, Unusuaisle, who makes personalized coloring pages. She made one for Mike that was space and birthday themed. It was a great way to make a regular craft table a little special. 

We also had an idea ‘fail’ that turned out okay in the long run. We wanted to make one of the small closets a ‘planetarium‘ with a constellation nightlight and glow in the dark beach balls. The nightlight wasn’t as vivid as we hoped (but I HIGHLY recommend it for a bedroom), but the kids liked kicking the beach balls to each other (or playing a very intense game of dodge ball).

The biggest hit, I think, was the two boxes of moon sand. Even the parents liked feeling the soft ‘sand’ and using the space figures to move it around. It was worth the mess and the last minute hunt the night before for baby oil.

Another Etsy win was printable photo booth props from PaperBuiltShop- space themed of course! I just printed, cut and then taped them to thin dowels. We bought a cheap (and very LONG) roll of galaxy background and we instantly had a photo booth!

In keeping with theme, I had to make sure we were dressed appropriately. Which is easy for the boys, both Mike and S. got t-shirts from Amazon. I hemmed and hawed because finding a plus sized themed shirt (that was truly plus sized) is a struggle. BUT, TwoStringJane pulled a miracle shipped me a shirt just in time (despite the typical timeline). We are pretty fabulous space people, right?

There you have it folks, an out of this world 4th birthday party!

New Parent Advice

A family friend is having a baby soon and her mom is compiling a book with advice from other moms. Well, I have more advice than I know what to do with. WAY more than a note card will hold. Does that make me an expert? Oh hell no. Just another Momma trying to figure it out.

{Find your tribe} Don’t over think this one. It doesn’t need to be women in real life who subscribe to your parenting beliefs 100%. Find a blogger who you like, explore a local FB group or even an older mom from your place of worship. I have a few tribes: one of Facebook with a group of friends in real life and strangers I joined when I was pregnant, one on Facebook with local moms and then from that group a smaller group of moms who meet monthly and chat weekly. I also read a few blogs and half read some parenting books. These ‘relationships’ take time to find, but they are so worth it. To have a second opinion, to learn about their past experiences as a mom, to have an ADULT conversation – those are invaluable.

{No one has the answers} You will most likely find your tribe by asking questions about their experience. What a cry means, how to wean, when to sleep train … but that’s they have – EXPERIENCE. They don’t have the answers. Which leads me to the next tip.

{While you are learning to be a parent, your baby is learning how to be baby} Each baby is different and no one knows that baby like you do. And while you are trying to figure out how to be a mom, that baby is learning how to be a baby. Sometimes they will cry just because they are crying. Not because they need a bottle or a diaper change. Trust your gut and understand no one has the answers. Not you, not your partner, not your tribe and certainly not your baby!

{Buy a nightgown for the baby}¬†This is a very small thing that makes a huge difference. Before you go to the hospital, buy (and pack) as many of these nightgowns as you can. They save time and energy, especially in the middle of the night when they wake up every 4 minutes with a wet diaper. ¬†And while you are at it –

{Buy a swaddles} I was not the master swaddler in the family, so these pre-swaddled swaddles (is that at thing?) saved me. Pack those too!

{Baby blues is real}¬†My parting advice might be the most important. The ‘baby blues’ are real. You just carried a baby in your belly for 9 months and then delivered a tiny human only to be sent home at 2 days (if you are lucky) to raise said human being into a functioning member of society. You are super woman! But that doesn’t mean you have to be super woman all the time. If you are feeling out of sorts or sad, talk to your doctor. I did and my little antidepressant makes me (yes, 4 years later) and better mom.

What advice do you have for parents-to-be?

Dear Mike: My 4 Year Old!

Dearest Mikey,

You are 4. FOUR! I am not sure what surprises me more, that fact that you are 4 or I am the momma of a 4 year old. I have been thinking about this letter for a few weeks but didn’t start it until today because I am not sure how to sum up your year as a 3 year old in a short letter. But I will certainly try.

{Personality}¬†You, my little love, have personality oozing out of your ears! You greet everyone you meet, stranger or animal or bug. You seem to be perfecting your physical comedy these days. When you do something and it gets a laugh you do it over and over (and over). I think Daddy and I are most proud of your manners. We work on instilling that and it seems to be working. ¬†You have your ‘moments’ like every 3 year old, but you bounce back pretty quickly. I get the impress you are a people pleaser. ¬†While you are pretty independent about doing things your way, you never shy away from getting into a lap or offering an unsolicited hug.

{Interests} When you are into something, you are INTO something. This year it has been mostly Halloween things (skeletons specifically), super heroes (Batman specifically) and Transformers Rescue Bots. More recently you have been interested in space and watch shuttle launches on YouTube with Daddy.

You still love reading and lately you have been asking Daddy or me to ‘say the words’ while you turn the pages. Miss Amy at school says sometimes she finds you sitting in the reading corner just flipping pages. Another thing that warms my heart is your love for music. Your playlist is always on in the car and I can hear you singing parts of ‘My Shot’ from Hamilton or ‘Take it All Back’ by Judah and the Lion. You are having the best time dancing, shaking your booty (as you say) and clapping (not quite to the beat). You always ask us to join in and we happily oblige.

You saw your first movie in the theater this year – Sing – and you LOVED it! Perhaps it was the popcorn and candy we fed you to keep you focused, but regardless, we look forward to more movie theater trips in the coming year.

{Daddy’s Surgery}¬†Daddy had a big surgery this year that kept him in the hospital for over a week. You stayed home with Grandma and Charlie and you were SUCH a trooper. Your kindness¬†and empathy were so obvious during his recovery time. You helped bring him things to drink and constantly wanted to kiss his boo boo. Even weeks later you were asking to see his scar and asked if it was all better. Perhaps you will be a doctor or a nurse!

{Preschool} I was a little nervous about you starting preschool – you will learn that changes is harder on Daddy and me than it is on you. But you walked right in with your dinosaur backpack and Batman lunchbox. Your teacher, Miss Amy, has been such a blessing for you (and us!). You even met your best friend, Ben, at preschool! You boys are so adorable together – everyone says you are little old men together. You are learning a ton, we can barely keep up with you. You can even say the Pledge of Allegiance, which I find really impressive.

{Milestones}¬†I feel like I should make note of your milestones since I have 100% slacked on your baby book. There is actually a good chance I didn’t buy one. BUT … you are potty trained! I won’t go into the details that might embarrass future Mike, but it was a bit of a challenge for a few days, then it all worked out.

You now sleep in a big boy bed that you helped Daddy put together. You sneak out every few nights to come see what you are missing, but a few minutes with one of us in your bed does the trick. You also had your first trip to the dentist and you really did well and liked it. The second trip 6 months later was not as fun (not even close), but each trip resulted in a clean bill of dental health.

Well my love bug. You are 4! Practically an old man. I have a feeling this is going to be your best year yet. Daddy and I are so proud of you and the boy you are growing into. You have the best of both of us. Happy Birthday!

I’ll eat you up, I love you so,

Momma xoxo