Anyone who has been pregnant knows that sleep becomes a strange thing. You’ve taken it for granted for so long. I use to stay up until 2AM in college, then nap in the afternoons and how I neglected to appreciate that during the time. Since getting married, and before getting pregnant, I would get in bed around 8PM to watch TV with S, and by 10 I was passed out. Now? Who the heck knows what each tonight could bring. Sometimes I will be asleep by 8PM, then up every hour to pee. Other times (mostly when I indulge in a Unisom), I am asleep by 10PM, up once to pee, and sleep like the dead until 8AM.
More often than not, I am ‘napping’ by 10PM, then up every few hours, wide awake and pondering a very odd assortment of things. Have you seen the movie ‘How Does She Do It‘ with Sarah Jessica Parker? In the beginning, she is up all night running through her to do list. I kinda do the same thing, but it’s not really a to do list, it’s more pondering, worrying and wondering things about our future with a baby. Or stupid stuff. Here’s a quick peek at what I think about when pregnancy induced insomnia kicks in:
- I wonder what that sex dream with Jason Segel means, and I wonder if he’s Jewish. I need to remember to look him up on IMDB tomorrow.
- Where is Charlie Beagle and if I get up to pee will it wake him up and make him fuss to go out?
- Will Charlie like Mikey, and if not, how will we work that out?
- Mikey will eventually go to college and leave me. Or go to prison and leave me. Does it matter which?
- I wonder if I had a vocal coach, would my voice be good enough to get me onThe Voice? And if I got on The Voice, which coach would I pick?
- If I never have another baby, I will never be a Mother of the Bride. Mother of the Groom’s get the short end of the stick.
- What if Mikey picks a crazy woman as his wife and I don’t like her?
- Is it Thursday yet? I wonder what time the new People Magazine posts for download. So help me if Snookie is on the cover …
- I could totally use that Clapper/Salad Spinner/full body girdle/infomercial thing currently on TV. In fact, I’m not sure how I lived without that for so long.
- Why am I awake, and why does it feel like I am going to give birth Alien styleany minute?
- I wonder if I am going to have a beautiful baby boy who becomes a holy terror and eventual serial killer. Would I go to court? Would I be one of those mamas on TV who swear he didn’t do it, when it was obvious he did?