The trouble with having a blog, and having friends and family read it, means I worry a lot about the things I say offending people. Please know this is never my intention. Look, I hate meatloaf. But that doesn’t mean I judge people who DO like meatloaf (well, openly judge them. Meatloaf is gross). So please don’t take what I am going to say personally. Or anything I say for that matter.

This leads me into my biggest anxiety right now – my maternity pictures. First of all, I’ve always been a big girl, and now that I am pregnant and bigger, I am totally embracing it. But I hate the fact I have 2 baby belly bumps (which pregnancy forum boards refer to as a ‘B Belly’) and I don’t have that perfectly round baby bump. I know at the end of the day, I am growing a super little baby boy, but I am patiently looking forward to a ‘D Belly’ – if it ever appears.

I normally turn my B into a D with full panel pants and such, but I know it’s there, and now that we’ve scheduled our maternity picture session in 2 weeks, I am so worried I will just look like a fat girl having a photo sess with her huberoni.  I am so blessed to have the most amazing, talented, photographer, Laura Dye, who made me look amazing in our engagement and wedding photos. I’ve emailed her quite a few times with my insane rambling anxieties and she is doing a good job of keep me in check and ‘getting it’.

I also sent her a list of things that will not be happening during our maternity photo shoot:

• Naked bellies – Obvi.
• Naked husbands – Hey. Husbands have insecurities too!
• Bows around the belly
• Doing awkward poses in strange places – Showing the bump while laying on the back of a cow. Strange.
• Flowing sheets – Hey! Let’s make the big girl feel even bigger! Plus, I tend to get tangled in my sheets in the middle of the night, so adding it into the photo shoot might be disastrous.
• Lingerie – Unless it’s my big butt, to my belly button maternity panties. I would consider those.

I guess the easiest way to describe what I want is a couple’s photo shoot where I just happen to be pregnant. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes!

I updated my Facebook status a few nights ago and pointed out that I was up at 2AM eating chocolate pudding and my friend from high school noted it sounded a lot like his college days. You know what? He’s right. Here’s how being pregnant is a lot like being in college:

Up all night: When I was in college, I had no problem staying up until 3AM to study, or more likely hit a DC bar or club. Why not? I could sleep until 2PM and be up and functional before my Communication Theory class. As a pregnant woman, I am up all night now again! But this time I am heading to the bathroom, adding to my Amazon wishlist, watching TVLand and worrying about having a baby in just a few short months.

Napping in the afternoon: After a night on the town during college, my roommate and I would cat nap or watch The Hills in the afternoon before gearing up for another night out. Nowadays, by 3PM I am so tired from not sleeping at night, and working I cat nap or watch Ellen. It’s a win!

Eating weird food: I was up eating pudding at 2AM this morning and it was glorious. And yes, I had egg drop soup for breakfast and crave MUG root beer (not Barqs or A&W – Mug Root Beer all the way). In college, we would run through the Wendy’s drive thru for french fries and Frostys for dipping at 2AM. And my roommate might have been known for eating Ramen noodles like they were about to be recalled.

Wearing yoga/PJ pants more often than not: I do own some maternity pants, and they are not fun or really comfortable. Working from home allows me to wear anything I want – so I do. I wear maternity yoga pants, or my bathrobe, or my PJ pants. While in college, I wasn’t as bad as some, but I did wear my Marymount sweatpants until they had a hole in the crotch. And maybe a few times afterwards with my knees closed. Did I mention Marymount is a fashion school?

Skipping events to watch TV: I mentioned watching TV or cat napping before right? I am usually so tired by 3PM, I try to bow out of anything social or work related after that time so I can stay in my jammies and watch Ellen or whatever I missed on prime time the night before. My roommate and I used to skip classes to watch The Hills or the Real World – I am totally dating myself here. And if the class was on a Thursday night once a week, it was a miracle we ever showed up (and frankly a miracle we graduated, sorry Mom).

Lots of whining: In college, I whined about everything – snow ruining weekend plans, cheeseburgers again in the cafeteria, the price of textbooks. Now that I am pregnant, I whine just as much. This time it’s about peeing all night, ugly maternity clothes and that annoying hip pain I get mid-afternoon. I’m sure I am just as fun to be around now as in college.

Gaining weight: At Marymount, the cafeteria helped me gain weight. Now my pudding cravings in the middle of the night and the growing boy are helping me. I won’t go into details.

Spending money you don’t have: Babies are expensive, that’s not a surprise. They need a crib, a car seat … even a stroller (what’s up with THAT?). Thanks to the economy, we aren’t exactly rolling in the big bucks. While our wallets are thicker than they were in college, they are still pretty lean. In college, I was silly enough to view credit as cash, so I was buying Gap  sweaters and TJMaxx purses I couldn’t afford. I’ve learned my lesson, and now shop consignment.

Worrying about your future: While I was enjoying the freedom of college life, I was also worrying about my future. Will I get a job (yes)? Will I have to move home (no)? Will I ever find love (yes)? Now I still worry, but about different things. Will I raise a serial killer (doubtful)? Will I ever be able to shave my legs without leaning over and groaning (probably)? Will I drop the baby on his head (probably … no, likely)?

You want what you can’t have: In college I wanted a lot of things I couldn’t have. Designer clothes, a new car, the usual. Now that I’m pregnant, I want food I can’t have. I am suddenly craving mimosas, cold cut subs and sushi. All things I wasn’t pressed about BEFORE getting pregnant!

Am I missing anything?

Baby had a great doctor’s appointment last night, he is super active (S. felt him kick the other night!) and his heartbeat is steady. I, however, am still a little miffed this morning about somethings the midwife said. Mainly that my anxiety is a little high. Um, yes. I’m pregnant. Aren’t all pregnant women anxious?

And what was this based on? A few things:

1. I asked when I can color my hair. I’ve heard a dozen different things, and I wanted to be sure.

2. I mentioned my lack of sleep. I fall asleep okay, and sleep deep until like … 1PM and then it’s party time. I can watch a whole movie or read ALL my blogs. I was just saying how frustrating it is, and how tired I am during the day. Her response? Our bodies adjust and make the most of the time I am awake. Okay then.

3. I mentioned my crazy dreams about our ‘baby’ falling in the bathtub, and not knowing the baby’s father (trust me, we do know).

So midwife mentioned watching out for post-partum depression (She mentioned this to my adoring husband, NOT me). I am just a little irritated about all this. I had a bad day, crap is going on at work. I’m tired. I’m pregnant. I have off days. I just hope my midwife was having an off day since she is usually so fabulous.

Are you a fan of the cult classic Napoleon Dynamite? I’ve had a wicked cold the past few days, and my lips are seriously suffering. I feel like every hour I am having the same conversation as Napoleon when he called his brother for chapstick. “My lips hurt real bad!”

There is nothing worse than being pregnant and sick. All the good drugs are off limits, so you are stuck with ones that don’t work well, or standing in a steamy bathroom blowing your nose every hour. However, I’ve had lots of time to read celebrity gossip magazines in said bathroom and I can’t stop thinking about Khloe Kardashian. And no, I am not a 14 year old boy.

With the whole Kim and Kanye baby situation, and Khloe being public about her struggle with infertility, I just feel so sad for her. And yet – proud of her for handling it the way she is. I can only imagine what Khloe is thinking. Probably that she is the only sister who is married and not a [total] fame-whore and yet, she isn’t getting pregnant. I hosted my Sister in Law’s baby shower this weekend and I briefly considered how I would feel if we were still trying and it was heartbreaking. I really hope she gets the baby she deserves soon, in the meantime, I am sure she will be a good sister.

People always ask the same questions when they see I’m pregnant:

Q: When are you due?
A: June 8th(ish)!

Q: Do you know the sex?
A: Yes! It’s a little boy, Michael Alan after his grandfathers

Q: Do you have a birth plan?
A: Um … yes. To leave the hospital with a baby?

Apparently birth plans are the new ‘big thing’ for pregnant women to obsess over. What kind of things do birth plans include? Dim lights, food if desired, walk as desired, labor props (Puppets? I like puppets), the ability to push instinctively, discharged as soon as possible … the list goes on. Baby Center makes it super easy, you can print out a 4 page PDF with options to simply hand to your doctor when it’s time to get the bun out of the oven.

What’s my birth plan? Get the kid out by any means necessary and as quickly and safely as possible. I’ve talked to enough friends and seen enough of TLC’s Baby Story to know things don’t always go as planned and it leaves Mommies feeling guilty and disappointed in their birth experience. Look, I’m sorry it didn’t go as planned, but you left the hospital with a baby right? So it really DID go as planned. You went to the hospital pregnant and left with a baby (preferably YOUR baby).

Sometimes I think I am too laid back to be a parent, but sometimes it works in my favor. I have no expectations, except to leave the hospital with a baby. And have an epidural. Birth plan: done.

I am excited to say I am finally feeling, what I think is, Mikie moving around! And if that’s the case, holy moly, this kid is going to be bouncing off the walls. I feel him jab the most in the morning when we are walking around or listening to (country) music. And then I feel a few jabs mid-day and then I feel lots of rolls in the evening. I can’t WAIT until what I am feeling on the inside, is obvious on the outside, so Sam can feel this craziness.

Wow, it’s been a long time since my last blog, and what a time it’s been! As I mentioned before, S. and I went to find out the sex of our baby and I was right! We’re having a boy! We had so much fun going to Infant See 4D, talk about fancy! It was done in a huge room with a big bed with fancy sheets, dim lights, candles and music. There was a HUGE projector screen and a long couch for my adoring fans. Or just S. We had 15 minutes with a very friendly tech who shared in our excitement. And Michael Alan left nothing to question. He … ahem … was very accommodating. And VERY active. It is the most surreal experience to SEE something inside of you moving around and kicking, but not feeling anything. I can’t wait for those moments.

We had to keep our mouth shut for a few days since Christmas was 3 days away and we wanted to do a fun reveal. If we had to wait any longer, my sister in law would have smothered me in my sleep. We had everyone pick blue or pink balloons and we blew them up at the same time. The blue ones blew up and the pink ones had pin holes, so they didn’t blow up. A lot of our family picked a boy, so it was pretty cool to see the excitement.

To be honest, this is all still very surreal. Maybe because I can’t feel him move around yet, or because I am just too tired to think about it. I’m just struggling to believe I am actually pregnant!