How strange is it I have all the time in the world right now, but have been dragging my feet to get you your letter. It is really a weird time we are experiencing and I haven’t been sure what to say. I just hope when you look back on when you turned seven you won’t remember what you lost out on but what you gained. A Zoom singalong! Presents delivered to your driveway! A family day! This will just be a second of your long life my dear.
Now. On to the fun stuff kiddo. You are still my silly, smiley girl who always has a story. You feel big things and love even bigger. I love to listen to you play with Mike – you always have a pretend story in your head and he more than happy to play along. And soon you will be the OLDEST cousin to a new youngest! She will need a strong girl to follow and I bet that will be you.
One of my favorite memories from this year was our family trip to the beach. One of the days you trusted me enough to hold on to a boogie board and float along the waves with me. I taught you want Grandpa taught ME when I was little. When a wave comes you jump, kick, kick, kick to stay afloat until it passes. We had so much fun not just then, but on the whole trip.
Size of baby: A Barbie! This excites me to know end hoping Hannah is a Barbie lover.
Total weight gain/measurements: I have no clue. I am sure I’ve lost some since the gestational diabetes diagnosis
Sleep: Crazy dreams, pottying a lot …
Best moment this week: The guys feeling her move! I’ve been feeling her stretching and dancing around for a few weeks now. Mike felt her a few days ago and his eyes got big. Sam felt her last night and thought I was doing the movement on purpose. She’s a strong one!
Miss anything? Eating when I want without thinking. I realize this is not a good thing to be doing in the first place, but the planning is killing me.
Food cravings: Actually, nothing really. I am eating a lot of prosciutto.
Symptoms: Tired, sweaty, obviously more emotional.
Total weight gain/measurements: I think I am up about 8 pounds.
Sleep: I toss a bit, I turn a bit, I sweat like I just stole a car …
Best moment this week: Having a great anatomy scan at my high-risk doctor. She is growing like a champ and even breathing on her own smarty pants!
Also, we went to Monster Truck Jam and girl LOVED it. I think. I took her busy movements as love for the noise and vibration.
Miss anything? A bunch of stuff. I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, which is a first for me. I am working on accepting this and getting as much information and assistance as I can to make sure we are both healthy for the next few months. So I miss not having something else to worry about.
Food cravings: Actually, nothing really. I am still eating a lot of cheese.
Symptoms: Tired, sweaty, obviously more emotional.
Total weight gain/measurements: Yikes, I have no clue! I was working on losing weight before I got pregnant, so I am sure it is pretty significant.
Sleep: I do it. And I love it.
Best moment this week: Graduating Shady Grove! After 2 years I am ready for the real deal.
Miss anything? Underwear that fits. I decided I am going to be comfortable this go around and not put off maternity wear (especially since my pants are a little snug) so I am wearing stretch 75% of the time. But I still need some maternity underwear that will STAY UP.
Food cravings: It varies, but definitely meat, cheese, and salt. I could crush some sausage right now.
Anything making you queasy or sick? Nothing really specific, I am able to eat more now – which is good.
Symptoms: Fatigue, mood swings (this morning I cried in the car listening to a Selena Gomez song and thinking about Justin Bieber did her dirty), queasiness.
2 years 5 timed intercourse cycles 1 IUI 1 chemical pregnancy 58 shots
On October 23rd I had an IUI and today was my third blood test and you are rocking and rolling with a strong HCG level of 490.
Your brother already loves you so much. When I asked him how he would help with his new sibling, he said he would name you Molly. But you have a cousin named Mollie, so Mike said he would name you Sally. While we love how involved he is already, you will not be named Sally. But until we decide if you are he or she, I’m going to call you Sally.
Sweet Sally, so many people are praying for you and loving you already. In a few weeks, we will see that pretty heartbeat flicker – I am confident. Until then we will think about you, dream about you, talk about you, and pray for your stickiness.
You are suddenly six! How on earth did that happen my sweet girl? Also, and likely related, you shot up about 6 inches overnight. You seem to have gotten your daddy’s long legs. You know what long legs are good for? Running and playing which you excelled at this year – dance, t-ball, soccer – you tried them all!
We had our First Annual Lovely Ladies Who Lunch day and it was by far one of my favorite memories of you at five. We went to Build a Bear where you chose a unicorn (duh) and promptly named her ‘Snow’. We then walked over to the Cheesecake Factory where I required you to eat exactly 3 bites of lunch before ordering a sundae. That’s what lovely ladies do! I enjoyed your company so much and spending one on one time with you. We chatted about all sorts of fun things. I can’t wait for the Second Annual Lovely Ladies Who Lunch.
You have quite a fashion sense Mollie and I admire you faux fur vests, ‘twirly’ dresses and gladiator sandals. You were a bit disappointed when I didn’t buy a ‘concert outfit’ after seeing me try it on and I will admit, I do regret not taking your advice.
You are oh so silly and you love to play along. Mike adores you and considers you his best friend. The stories from your sleepovers are Grandma and Grandpa’s house remind me of spending time with my cousin growing up! I hope that never changes.
Miss Mollie, you are so smart and so friendly and such a great kid. I love you bunches and can’t wait to see what 6 brings. I am guessing more of the same, which is a good thing!
I’ve been thinking a lot about what is going on right now politically and I’m having a hard time seeing down the road when our President is not in the White House anymore. He has seemed to bring out the ugliness in people and social media is a hotbed for … let’s just say people hiding behind screens and not being nice.
How do you teach your kids to be nice when the nation’s leader can’t even be nice? That is a question for another day – today I find it exhausting. But what I AM seeing a lot of on social media is the fear that ‘our boys’ will be ‘falsely accused’ of sexual harassment, rape, etc. Mike is only five, but while we joke that he ‘loves to hard’ with his hugs, kisses and butt bumping – as parents we HAVE to make sure that he understands no means no NOW. He needs to hear that word frequently, feel it’s consequences and learn self control.
I am worried he will grow up and drive too fast, or not reach his potential, or have his heart broken (in more ways than one), or feel left out. I do not worry about him being falsely accused. S. and I are raising Mike to know that kindness counts and when he sees someone who needs help to help them. I hope we raise him to not put himself in situations where a false accusation could happen and not to be with people who encourage the wrong sort of behavior. It’s hard. It’s really hard.
How are you raising your little ones these days? Are you doing anything different?
If I am being honest I think about blogging and Muddling Momma every day. Mostly on my way to work, or on the way home from work and in the shower. But I haven’t posted in ages. I think the main reason is I am not sure what I want this blog to be. I originally started here as a way to share my infertility journey. That morphed (thankfully) into life as a pregnant person. Then into life of a new mom. And most recently, life as a mom in general. I am obviously still a mom, but I am not sure I want to share every detail of my son’s life. I carefully curated a lot of stuff on this blog with him in mind. Who knows what kids will be doing in 10 years when he is 14, perhaps blogging will be a thing of a past, but I don’t want his high school baseball/math club/DnD club/band members stumbling on this and finding out he pooped in the bathtub (he didn’t, FYI). I share enough of the funny stuff on Facebook.
But I am not ready to give up the idea of blogging. I am hoping to have another baby soon. I started working again full time in an executive level position, I am preparing to travel for the first time since Mike was born. I am stumbling on cool products for him, me, and families in general. We are exploring Maryland and I want to share that.
But let’s face it. I’m tired. Parents get that. So I might not post daily, weekly – hopefully monthly. But I am excited to produce new content that is useful. Stay tuned, and thanks for hanging in with me through this season of life.