I was originally writing a post about how impatient and uniformed I am about what the heck I am doing regarding drugs, calendars and when it’s time to panic. I decided it’s time to call my doctor and figure out what the eff is up.

Lucky for me, I spoke with Nurse Betty. I am not using real names in this blog (frankly, the protect the innocent bystanders in my hormonal rages), but Nurse Betty is really named Betty. If you imagine what a nurse named Betty looks and sounds like, that’s my Nurse Betty.  So, please don’t Google a nurse named Betty in the DC Metro area and harass her. She is so grandmotherly and southern, she might be our unborn baby’s namesake by the time this crap is over.

So anyway … I talk to Nurse Betty, who is delightfully no bullshit, and she tells me to be patient. I explained I stopped Clomid on the 2nd and still haven’t ovulated, and we decided to wait another week for the smiley face (her words). If nothing happens, I need to an early pregnancy blood test, then we start this whole process over with a higher dose of Clomid. After 3 cycles of the Clomid, and no pregnancy, I will get to visit a Reproductive Specialist (dun, dun, dun.)

I also explained, I read What to Expect Before You are Expecting (more on that later), and it said to take the fertility test in the middle of the day because morning pee-pee could give a false negative. She, very nicely, informed me pee-pee is pee-pee. Good, I was about to go bat crap crazy if I missed my ovulation window.

Would it have killed the Backup Doctor to alert me to all these details?