Muddling Momma

09
May
2014

Mike: 10 & 11 Months

Oh Mike –

I truly believe that when you were born, you took my brain with you. I would have sworn I wrote your 10 month letter, but alas, I must have been dreaming it or writing it in my head. Either way, you get a two for one this month. When you are a Daddy, you will understand.

I can’t believe we are planning your first birthday little guy! Daddy and I were watching videos of you the other night and I can’t even remember those long skinny legs and alien like noises you make. Now you have strong legs and a very VERY loud voice and many important things to say. We are convinced that when you are mumbling to yourself you are singing along with the ever present radio. You could easily spend an hour turning a toy over and over, pushing it’s buttons, picking at it’s stickers and figuring out how it works. You’ve grown so much in so many ways over the past 2 months Bug.

{Haircut} We ushered in your 10 month birthday with your first haircut! I was a little sad, but when I found myself tucking your straight hair behind your ears, I had to agree with Dad – time for a haircut. You were amazing! We went to Cartoon Cuts and the minute the hairdresser handed you a toy it was obvious you could have sat there for an hour. Even when she hit you with the warm blow dryer ait. You were so good and everyone noticed!

{Outside Fun} With the weather being so nice we’ve gone to the community playground quite often. You’ve had fun sitting in the swing and going down the slide with Dad. But your favorite part of the playground is climbing the steps and sneaking pieces of mulch to eat. You look SO grown up in your Washington Redskin’s ball cap. We also cleaned up the patio and you’ve been airing out with Charlie. You are very curious about the AstroTurf!

{Birthdays} Mollie turned 1 this month and you had such a fun time at her birthday party! It gave us a glimpse of what your first birthday will be like. Momma also had a birthday too! You got me my first Mom card and a picture frame with our favorite song ‘Three Little Birds’. Then Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Rachel, Uncle Dave and Mollie came over and we went to the pool. It was exactly what I wanted.

{Bath time} Bath time is still one of your favorite times of the day. You are very interested in watching the water come out of the faucet and trying to bite the water stopper, which is conveniently attached to the tub, so you get a mouth of water every time – but that doesn’t stop you! Bath time isn’t over until we have to tell you at least once that ‘bath time is for bottoms’. It’s hard for you to sit still so it’s a lot of splashing.

{Easter} Your First Easter was so much fun! The Easter Bunny brought you refrigerator magnets, bath tub toys, a Llama Llama book and some snacks. You were very much spoiled by your Great Aunts and Grandparents. Maybe next year we will venture to visit the Easter Bunny.

{Sleeping} As I’ve mentioned before, we’ve been doing sleep training with you and it truly is harder on us then it is on you. I know this because you are sleeping like a CHAMP! You average about 10-12 hours a night and you are much happier. This makes Momma and Dad happy too!

{First Trip to the ER} It isn’t a milestone I was looking forward to, but you got the nasty tummy bug that was going around and it started to make us really nervous, so we took you to the emergency room for some TLC. The nurses were so nice and you did really well considering you weren’t feeling well. They gave you some medicine and water and we headed home a few hours later.

Well sweet boy, I am planning your 1st birthday party – I can’t wait for a day when everyone celebrates you. This time last year I was SO tired of being pregnant and fat and swollen. Dad and I couldn’t wait to meet you. When people say you don’t remember life before a baby I used to roll my eyes. Now I know EXACTLY what they were talking about.

I’ll eat you up I love you so,

Momma xo

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

03
May
2014

5 Registry Must Haves

categories: Pregnancy, Product Reviews

A pregnant friend of mine asked me yesterday what they REALLY needed to put on their baby registry. I thought I would suggest a few things, but as I got to remembering and listing what I thought she REALLY needed, my list got pretty long. I did warn her, everyone has a different ‘must have’ list. I remember asking my Facebook friends the same question and for everyone who SWORE I needed a wipe warmer the same number told me they aren’t necessary. Regardless, we registered for EVERYTHING and exchanged a lot (that’s a good point, check out the store’s return policy before you register!). Also, we had quite a few things we never used or figured out were more trouble than they were worth *cough*bottle sterilizer*cough*.

After much thinking I put together my list of what I would consider ‘registry must haves’.

{Video Monitor} S. came home from his Daddy class swearing we had to get one of these, and I, of course, poo-poo’ed it. We have a small apartment, video monitors aren’t cheap, yadda yadda yadda. However, I let him talk me into getting one and we got a great deal on a Summer Infant Safe Sight™ Digital Video Monitor on eBay. Since Mike has been sleeping in his crib, that monitor is a lifesaver. Mike is a loud sleeper, often ‘singing’ himself to sleep and we are able to assess whether we need to go in because he is awake or ignore him because he is dreaming. Also, if you are going to sleep train – a video monitor is essential. I do recommend our model, but there are plenty to chose from.

{Crib Soother} We used the Baby Einstein Sea Dreams Soother because we had a few other toys from that line and the music was the most tolerable. It was great when he was littler and the ocean noise was calming. Now that he is older, he has a different rumbly white noise app at night, but when he wakes up he LOVES pushing the buttons to turn the glowing light and sound on an off. It also has a night light feature for when it’s time for late night diaper changes. We had a mobile, but we had to constantly crank wind it up and eventually Mike got to pulling himself up and practically swinging from it. Really any white noise ‘thing’ is a necessity in my book.

{A Comfy Rocker} Ah, everyone has an opinion about rockers. A few of my friends said they never used their’s, but other people said they lived in their rocker. I fell in love with a $400 microfiber recliner rocker, but who in their right mind would gift us a $400 rocker? I am not even sure we spent that much on our dining room set. However, we did get some cash and gift cards from family, used a 20% coupon AND bought the floor model leaving us with $56 out of pocket. I won’t spend $400, but I sure will spend $56! Turns out we fell into the second camp – we use the heck out of that rocker. If you think you are going to use your’s – invest in something comfortable. I used a glider when we visited my parent’s and my butt hurt for a few days.

{Same Bottles} We thought it would be smart to register for a variety of bottles so we could find one Mike liked. Wrong. Mike liked them all and each had different parts and nipples. That wouldn’t have been a problem, but while we were at the hospital, my Mom thought it would be helpful to wash the bottles (it was, trust me!) so we weren’t sure which parts went to which bottles. The only way we figured it out was to Google why a certain brand leaked to find out it took a ring or a special nipple we thought went to ANOTHER model. I would suggest registering for ONE kind of bottle and an easy kind. We stuck with EvenFlo Bebeks and Avent Free Naturals. Both had nothing extra or fancy and had distinct nipples. This also needs to be categorized under things no one told me.

{Space Saving Glider Vibrating Chair} We got this a little too late, but not late enough to realize it’s importance. We had a second hand vibrating chair as well as a swing that Mike enjoyed, but living in a small apartment having two rather large items took up space. We happened upon a good deal on a Graco Glider XL and it made so much sense. First of all, it swings, plays music and vibrates, so takes two things and combines it into one. I also liked that it sat up pretty high so I wasn’t constantly leaning down to maneuver Mike in and out. I am all for multi-purpose gear!

Again, these are what I would consider ‘must haves’ from our experience. You might talk to someone else who had a swing their little one hated. It’s always a good idea to borrow or buy second hand to test out something before making an investment.

What do YOU recommend adding to a baby registry?

47 Minutes

categories: Baby, Product Reviews

My Momma said I have to blog even in the bad times, and I am usually pretty good at that. I’ve prided myself on keeping it real because it’s important, not only for other mommas, but other women. Who wants to read about how I am super mom 100% of the time? I really am only 95% of the time and the world should know. Kidding, obvi. There’s a reason I called this blog ‘Muddling Momma’.

So, things have been super frustrating lately. At 10 months old MIke’s sleeping has become … an issue. We’ve let it go on too long and have made excuses and that is embaressing. Each night I feed him, rock him to sleep, put him in the crib once I knew he was asleep and the minute he would pop up (which was pretty much as soon as his head hit the sheets) I would whisk him away to the rocker and start over. Recently I started to feel super craptastic about this and started to feel chained to the rocker for at least an hour a night. Easter weekend at my parent’s house really made night time difficult and S. and I realized, enough was enough.

We’ve talked about sleep training before and when I’ve broached the topic on Facebook… well, it was right up there with talking politics, religion and gun control. Everyone had an opinion and stories. From ‘say good night, shut the door and don’t open it until the morning’ to ‘co-sleep until high school graduation’. Neither of these options felt right to S or me. I worried a lot about what all this said about me as a momma. Because I don’t subscribe to the traditional ‘Crying it Out’ method, am I coddling my kid? Setting him up for a life where I catered to his needs? If I didn’t cater to his every request, am I raising him to be a sociopath? Frankly, being exhausted wasn’t helping the brain function either. I know a lot of things we do as parent’s don’t make us feel good, but are necessary to raise functioning members of society.

I gave our daycare provider a call and said said the at nap time he goes into the crib ‘chats and sings a bit’, then goes to sleep. I can honestly say – I was pretty mad for a lot of reasons. First of all, I am calling our daycare provider to figure out how to put our son to sleep and secondly, because it was painful obvious Mike was playing us. Looking back on this conversation, S. brought up a good point. We, as parents, should never feel bad asking our daycare provider things like this since we are partners in our kid’s development, right? Right.

So S and I did some research and bought The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp. It’s a great book, but it is more for a younger kid – making me a feel even worse for not starting earlier when we could still swaddle. But we took a few of the ideas including the need for the RIGHT white noise. We’ve been using timed ocean sound machine, but Dr. Karp said by his age it is more annoying than helpful. So S. downloaded a white noise app, and found a rumbly noise and played it much louder than we would have thought – about as loud as a shower.

The other tip we took was a more rigid bedtime routine. So now it’s bath, bottle, book, snuggle, sleep. That makes sense, and though we did it before – we are making it much more deliberate. The first night he slept through and it was amazing.

Then the next night, not so amazing. And then the following? Even worse.

Yesterday we were at our wit’s end. In my searching of sleep training methods (there are tons)I came across Sleep Sense by Dana Obleman and though the concepts aren’t new – for whatever reason what she said and how she said it really struck me.

I know Mike isn’t crying because he feels abandoned or is confused, but Obleman really summed it up when she said he is crying because he is tired and doesn’t know how to fall asleep – and guess what? That’s not my job anymore. No one likes to hear their baby cry, but it is easier to take when I know it’s frustration and not anxiety or fear.

She also outlined 2 options for sleep training. One is a called Camping Out which is where you sit in a chair next the crib until he goes to sleep and every few nights move the chair further away. The other method is call Checking In where every few minutes (whatever you are comfortable with) you poke your head in and remind them you are there and you will see them in the morning. S and I agreed on the 2nd option, which seemed like a doable process. We agreed we were going to stick with it no matter how long it took.

It’s amazing how anxious I was all afternoon. I was pretty convinced it would be a long, painful night. And like with everything – the anxiety and worry was worse than what actually happened. Here’s how our night went:

6:30P – Bathtime!

6:45P – Into Mike’s room for a bottle and a book. We made sure the white noise was playing through out the process. We made lots of references to going nighty night.

7:00P – Lights out! We said good night and Mike was not happy.

7:03P – S. poked his head in and said good night. Mike cried harder. We watched him on the video monitor and he was crawling around the crib, standing up and bouncing. Clearly looking at the door. Every time he would calm down, we would start the 3 minutes over.

7:14P – S. poked his head in again to say good night and again, Mike cried harder.

7:17P – S. noticed on the monitor that Mike spit up a bit. So we followed the book’s suggestion. We went in, I changed Mike’s poopy diaper, S. changed the sheets.

7:27P – S. poked his head in again to say good night and again, Mike cried harder.

7:30P – S. was watching Mike on the video monitor just in time to see him literally projectile vomit down the wall. We went in, changed Mike, changed the sheets, wiped down the wall, wiped up the floor and … started again.

7:40P -S. went in again to stay good night.

7:45P – We noticed on the video monitor Mike was laying down doing the sniffling crying.

7:47P – Mike was asleep.

47 Minutes.

That couldn’t have been it right? I was convinced he would wake up again. Around 2AM we heard him crying really hard, and as the book suggested, we were prepared to wait 10 minutes before going in to remind him we were there. 5 minutes into the hysteria – he was asleep again. We didn’t hear another peep until about 7:30A.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I woke up thinking I could cure cancer, save the pandas, walk in stilettos, or do something equally amazing.

Even nap time today took, literally, 7 minutes of hysteria before he fell asleep.

This is so good, not just for him, but for S. and me. I feel like I am free from sitting in the rocker for an hour a night, and that will leave more time to hang with S., get stuff done around the house and just ease into MY nighttime routine. I was really starting to worry about how I was going explain to Mike’s college roommate why I was there every night to rock him. At some point it was just going to get awkward.

Tonight might be difficult, or even one night next week. I am not convinced we have a perfect, sleep trained baby, but damn if we aren’t moving in the right direction.

The Blog That Almost Wasn’t

categories: Blogging

I feel like since I am unemployed (again) and not really doing much during the day but job hunting, I should be super blogger filling my blog with awesome content that’s been listed on my trusty dry erase board, but alas, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

I never force my writing and lately I just have been feeling blah and like I don’t want to force something fun and exciting for blogging purposes. Plus everyone in my house, including visitors, have had that disgusting stomach bug that’s going around. Not only is it gross, but it put us in the hospital early last week since Mike wasn’t keeping anything in, but all sorts of stuff was coming out. He was his usual self, charming and smiley while we got him on an anti-nausea medicine.

I also would have SWORN I wrote Mike’s 10 month letter, but apparently I just thought about it. I’ll just say I was too busy loving on my baby to remember what his month was like.

Did you know it’s Infertility Awareness Week?

Speechless

categories: Diaper Drive

This is probably going to be a sappy post and I could make lots of excuses why I am being sappy – including a baby who won’t sleep through the night or a long weekend traveling, but it really comes down to the fact I am so overwhelmed, overjoyed and any other ‘over’ word you can think of.

I’ve been kinda hush hush on the total amount of diapers for my diaper drive because they just kept coming in right and left to different locations and I couldn’t keep up with them. Today was delivery day and I did a total count.

With your help, I collected 8053 diapers from size preemie to 5, 7968 baby wipes and 42 tubes of diaper rash cream.

That. Is. Amazing.

I wish everyone who donated, either in diapers, money, time, good thoughts, or Facebook shout outs could have been there with me today when we went to St. Martin’s Ministries in Ridgely, Maryland. To feel the outpouring of gratitude and hear the stories of who these diapers will help – well that’s a feeling that I can’t put into words and won’t soon forget. Sister Patricia told me that she just had someone they serve ask her for size 5 diapers and she had to tell her the truth – they didn’t have any. Also, she told me, that when they get a box of diapers, they have to open it up to divide the contents to hand out to a few families. With our donation she can hand out boxes.

For those of us who are parents, we know how important diapers are and what a relief it is to know we can fulfill a simple (and expensive) need. We (I say ‘we’ because I donated 100. YOU donated much more) donated enough diapers for 671 days. My goal of 3100 diapers was doubled, then passed.

I’ve done some pretty cool things in my life, but this experience has been one of the most rewarding and inspiring. Thank you for not only helping me with this project, but for all those dry tushies. I am forever grateful.

Happy 1st Birthday Mollie Claire!

categories: Family

Dearest Mols,

It’s 2 days before your first birthday and you have been on my mind more than usual my sweet girl. I am sure as you get older you are going to ask your Momma and Daddy about the day of your birth. Especially where they were in the hours leading up to your entrance into the world. I am in my thirties and still like to ask my Momma and Daddy (YOUR Grandma and Grandpa!) what they were doing when as my birthday approaches.

Where was I when I found out I was an Aunt for the first time? I was 7 months pregnant with your cousin Mike sitting on a hot bus on my way to New York City. I don’t remember too many of the details, but I DO remember getting texts from Grandma with a play by play (she was eagerly awaiting Momma’s okay to come meet you) and how badly I prayed for your Daddy to make it in time. You know how that turned out and depending on how old you are when you read this, use this to your advantage at every opportunity. Another clear memory was getting a text with a picture of the prettiest baby girl I had ever seen. It took everything I had not to jump up and show every single bus rider your picture. Something changed in me … it was you!

It’s been quite a first year Miss Mollie. You are a ball of personality and have kept ALL of us on our toes. It’s been so much fun watching you hit your milestones and you give me a glimpse into what is in store for Mike. You are constantly going, going, going, doing, doing, doing, exploring, exploring, exploring. I keep thinking of that quote, ‘let her sleep, for when she wakes, she will move mountains.’

I wrote you a letter in January of 2013 before you were born and I happily reread it tonight. I was pretty spot on with you having your Momma’s stubborn streak and your Daddy’s spider legs. But you have your own special, unique personality. You are so excited about EVERYTHING and I already love that about you.

It’s given me such a full heart to see you with Mike. He looks at you with a curiosity and you look at him like you are ready to teach him the ways of the world because you are so much older and wiser. Of course. He does have a few pounds on you already though, so I will give you an early warning.

Mollie Claire – I love you in a way only an Aunt could love a niece. It is too soon for me to take you the the American Girl store, but I promise I will. You made me an Aunt and I will always have your back, encourage you to take on new challenges and give you advice when you need it. But perhaps for now I will just blabber with you, change your diaper and make sure you are fed.

With a heart full of love on your birthday,

Aunt Jackie

So Here’s Your Lifeline

categories: Health

It’s funny how sometimes things just come together in my mind. I’ve been listening to a lot of what I like to call ‘Mall Punk’ music lately. It’s a lot of what I listened to in college: Good Charlotte, New Found Glory, The Ataris and Blink 182. Real deep stuff there, let me tell you. Yesterday I heard a song I remember well – Lifeline by Angels and Airwaves (Mark Hoppus’ side project). The lyrics, obviously about a romantic relationship, don’t really mean much to being a new parent, but the term lifeline really resonated with me.

Days later while watching the news everyone was buzzing about the Momma who drove her children into the waves convinced they were possessed. Now, more than ever, this horrifies me. I won’t go into the details here, but if you aren’t familiar with the story you can see more here. I kept thinking … where was her lifeline?

Who was noticing her Facebook updates? Who checked in with her during her pregnancy? Who saw she was struggling being pregnant with 3 kids? I’m not blaming her friends or family for what COULD have been a horrible tragedy. For those of us who are parents we know how hard and lonely and disorienting it can be the first few weeks or even going through pregnancy.

Look, I get that some people with mental illnesses are not being treated, or getting help or even that they aren’t sure they even HAVE a mental illness. The mom in the van is a very extreme example. But regardless – we need to be a lifeline.

Having this blog and being so open about infertility, my pregnancy and being a new momma has introduced me to a lot of friends of friends and me reconnect with old friends and even acquaintances. In fact, when Mike was just a few days old and I was struggling with breastfeeding, I reached out to my Facebook Mom’s Group and an old coworker (I mean, we worked together in 1998ish) of mine who is also a member, sent me a long note about her experience and gave me a lot of reassurance and support. And while I had a lot of other support, she was my lifeline. That person who told me I wasn’t the only one who struggled and that someone else ‘got it’. That experience has stayed with me and I am paying it forward.

Please keep an eye on your fellow parents and parents to be. You could be the lifeline that makes a difference.

Another Time Another Place

categories: Infertility, Pregnancy

I glanced at my calendar today and realized next weekend we are celebrating my friend’s son’s third birthday. We met literally a few days after he was born when I volunteered to bring them dinner, even though we had been attending the same church for awhile. While I held baby D, M and I got along like a house on fire.

A year later, when we were celebrating D’s 1st birthday, I remembered her asking me if I was doing okay being the only person there without a kid and if it bothered me. I remember saying no and meaning it. We had just started trying to have a baby and we didn’t anticipate being in the family way that quickly.

Fast forward to D’s 2nd birthday last March. I had to find something to fit over my huge belly and shoes to shove on my swollen feet. As we waded through bunches of kids at Gymboree, M and I joked that at D’s 3rd birthday in 2014 Mike would be able to attend and have fun.

I had to go back through my blog to read about what was going on in March of 2012 and it was a lot of nothing. I was starting Clomid and going through my first unsuccessful attempt at getting pregnant. Then in March of 2013 I was blogging about maternity pictures, the shape of my tummy and the baby shower M hosted for me.

Why do I bring this up? I am forgetting the hard part of our journey – the dates and details are running together. All the months of medicine with no results, the wondering, the Googling. I do remember the hardest part of the journey – the daily doctor appointments to monitor levels, the belly shots and 2 weeks of uncertainty. Why do I remember it? Not because it was hard or painful or stressful, but because it resulted in a big stinkin’ ball of love.

If you are on your own journey, you will forget the details, and that’s okay. I promise you will remember the important things. Like the last shot to the belly before it grows a human. And those memories will sneak in at the strangest times. Like for me tonight while I was rocking Mike to sleep while I was trying to memorize his face while he snored.

Mike: 9 Months

categories: Dear Mike

Sweet Mike Mike –

I know, I am so very late with your letter – but things have been very crazy around our house lately. You won’t remember, and even if you did, you will only remember spending lots of time with Daddy and Miss Gita and getting lots of snuggles before bed from Momma. I started my new job this month and you’ve been going to Miss Gita’s everyday and you are doing AMAZING! I’m not surprised, you are still so easy going. When I get the chance to pick you up you are always smiling and laughing with the other kids. I’m really proud of you but again, not at all surprised. Also, do you realize at this point you’ve been out of my body as long as you’ve been in? I feel like I was pregnant forever and now time is flying.

{Standing} Kid, you don’t just pull yourself up, you pull yourself up and DANCE! You pull yourself up everything – the couch, your activity table, my shirt … and then you get that little bounce in your knees and wiggle in your tushie. Most the time there is no music, but like me, there is aways a song in your head. You’ve taken a few tumbles and every time you get back up. I hope that doesn’t change, but if you fall down when you are older, Dad and I will clap our hands and smile like we do now.

{Swimming} You successfully completed your first swim ‘class’! You really enjoyed the time in the pool with Dad. You even started putting your face in the water, even if it was to try to drink the water. We’ve gone to the pool a few times just the three of us and you’ve shown me first hand what you and Dad do every Sunday. I think in a few years we will really need to keep an eye on you since you have no fear. I picture you jumping off the high dive long before I’m ready!

{Snow Baby} We had a few snow storms this month, but you didn’t seem to notice much except when we put you in your teddy bear snow suit and laughed at how damn adorable you were. Miss Gita’s and Daddy’s work were closed, so we spent the snow days hanging out, playing and taking long naps under warm blankets.

{Food} You’ve certainly not been starving Mr. Mike and you’ve turned into quiet a beggar. When Daddy and I eat our dinner, you saddle right on up to the couch with an open mouth. You are pretty adventurous but prefer avocados and sometimes scrambled eggs. Honestly, you will try anything that comes off someone else’s plate on a big person’s utensil. When stuck in your highchair, you munch on baby crackers, shredded cheese and fruit. We do try to convince you to eat some baby food and yogurt!

Well baby, there are things to do and you are sound asleep, so I need to take advantage of this time so when you are awake you get my full attention. Here’s to another amazing month of new adventures.

I’ll eat you up I love you so,

Momma xxoo

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr